tag:jennitooley.com,2005:/blogs/jenni-s-journal-tooley-s-travelogue-and-much-more?p=2Confessions of an Aging Ingenue2022-12-14T19:23:49-06:00Jenni Tooleyfalsetag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/71231392022-12-14T19:23:49-06:002023-10-16T09:54:03-05:005 Ways to decrease stress and increase fun during the holidays <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/1ea351fa86f9c6a902d3672a854d81b36929f304/original/permission-to-n-a-p.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I had a great chat with <a contents="Dana Leipold of Third Act Wellness" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.thirdactwellness.co/" target="_blank">Dana Leipold of Third Act Wellness</a> that inspired this blog- <a contents="you can watch the replay here!" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.thirdactwellness.co/talks_dec2022" target="_blank">you can watch the replay here!</a></p>
<p>When you think of the holidays what comes to mind? A house full of wreaths, garlands, and sparkling lights? Children’s laughter while eating perfectly decorated cookies? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Bussing your family from one event to another in holiday traffic? Feeling guilty because you ate too much or hangry because you didn’t eat anything? If the perfect picture of the holidays isn’t matching up with your real life and it’s totally bumming you out or worse, stressing you out, it may be time to release your expectations and pick up some new self-care tools. </p>
<p>5 Ways to Decrease your Grinch factor during the holidays </p>
<p><strong>HALT </strong><br>We’ve all been there. The moment when making decisions is impossible, everyone irritates us, and we feel like everything is spiraling into chaos. When we find ourselves on this trajectory it is time to HALT and ask ourselves </p>
<p>Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Or maybe all 4? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to take care of you.</p>
<p>Start with the basics. Eat food and drink water. Don’t walk around hangry- it’s no good for you and it certainly isn’t productive or fun for anyone else. If you’re angry, take steps to address the source of the anger and do what you can to clear it. If you are lonely, call a friend, cuddle with a pet, or go to a coffee shop and soak up some holiday cheer. If you are tired- take a nap or watch a replay of one of our Happy Hour Prep Mindfulness Exercises- you’d be surprised at how much clearer your mind will be and how much different the world will look after you HALT. </p>
<p><strong>Quit comparing and make a heart connection instead. </strong><br>How many hours have you spent on social media scrolling through other people’s perfect-holiday-life posts only to find yourself beating yourself up about how crummy your is? Or maybe you headed over to Pinterest with the intention of finding a fun activity for you and your family to enjoy together or some great decorating tips only to leave feeling defeated and overwhelmed? Or how about this one- you sit down with a cup of hot cocoa to watch a feel-good holiday movie but by the end of the movie you feel lonely and isolated? If any of these resonate with you, then it’s time to put them down and do something different. </p>
<p>Instead of scrolling through Social Media, call a friend instead. If they don’t answer, leave them a message telling them how much you value your relationship or send them good wishes. If you’re having a particularly low day, let them know that you would love to hear back from them. </p>
<p>Instead of going to Pinterest, think back to simple projects that you used to do when you were a kid or enlist your kids to show you some of the things that they like. All you need to make snowflakes is a pair of scissors and any kind of paper- used or not! </p>
<p>Instead of sitting down with that Hallmark movie that will leave you feeling sad and inadequate, sit down and create something of your own. Write a letter to yourself that you wish someone would write to you. Sing songs with your family, friends, or pets. Make your favorite cookies and eat them. Find a service project which you could give your time and talent to. </p>
<p><strong>If you don’t want to do something, don’t. </strong><br>Saying no can be particularly difficult for many of us. We want to take care of everyone else and make sure that they are having a good time and getting what they want while our energy reserves get depleted. Then we are surprised when we find ourselves irritable, resentful, exhausted, or physically sick. </p>
<p>It’s important that you get to know your limits and respect them. If you feel obligated to take on three parties in one day “that you just can’t miss because _____________________” then it’s time to pause and ask yourself- do I want to go? Do I have the energy for this? Am I feeling sick? Do I feel mad when I think about going? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, it’s time to put something down. Politely decline. If you’ve already committed, let the host know that you will be unable to make it this time around, but you hope they have a great party. And remember, “No.” is a complete sentence. You never have to explain yourself to anyone- not even yourself! </p>
<p><strong>Give yourself the gift you want them to give you! </strong><br>No one is more deserving of getting what they want for the holidays than you are! So while you are out thoughtfully shopping for presents for them, pick up a present for yourself too. Have it wrapped and include a special message from yourself to yourself. You’d be amazed at how uplifting giving yourself a gift can be. It takes the pressure off everyone- and can clear the air of resentments too😊 </p>
<p><strong>Approach the holidays with a new perspective </strong><br>The holidays aren’t always shiny and bright. Sometimes they can be the most difficult time of the year. Especially if you’ve recently lost someone that you usually spend them with or have other life circumstances that move away from the way you traditionally celebrate the holidays. </p>
<p>Or maybe your holidays have always been stressful because you have alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness in your family that influences your family gatherings. If that’s the case, approach the holidays with compassion for yourself and others. Release the idea that the holidays must be a certain way or on a certain day. Find ways to celebrate that suit you and your current situation. Dig deep and decide what the holidays really mean to you. If you need some outside help or support, don’t hesitate to ask for it. </p>
<p>There are so many ways to destress during the holidays- But everyone is different- what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another, so let’s take 5 minutes to discover what yours are. </p>
<ul> <li>Set your timer for 5 minutes </li> <li>Take three nice deep breaths. Clear your mind as much as you can. Now write out the answer to this question: What do you want more of in your holidays?</li> <li>Take another deep breath and write out the answer to this question: What do you want less of in the holidays? </li> <li>And finally, one last deep clearing breath and then list 5 things that you could do (or not do) that would get you closer to your Happy Holiday? </li>
</ul>
<p>This is your personal best list! You may not be able to get to all 5 these things this year- but you could certainly take the first steps to infuse your holidays with a little more joy and a lot less stress.</p>
<p>PS: If you need outside support, don't hesitate to ask. Here are few great resources to turn to.</p>
<ul> <li>Warmlines </li> <li>988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Formerly National Suicide Prevention Hotline) </li> <li> Alcoholics Anonymous </li> <li> Al-Anon Family Groups </li> <li>Anxiety and Depression Association of America Support Group </li>
</ul>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/70488692022-08-29T19:04:54-05:002022-08-29T19:04:54-05:00Nose to Nose with a Hummingbird!<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/460f2630e31e757f1a0374b546dca452045d7109/original/img-5732.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I was just nose-to-nose with a hummingbird! (Does a hummingbird have a nose?) </p>
<p>I was standing on the porch enjoying the sensations of an upcoming storm. All of a sudden, I heard a buzz next to my ear (no it was not my tinnitus). My reaction was to cringe because it sounded like a very big bee. I turned my head towards the sound and found myself eye-to-eye with a Hummingbird. We both held steady and o observed each other. She flew around my torso a couple of times- my shirt was the same color red as the flowers that they love so much. How disappointing it must have been to realize that I was not in fact the largest food source she had ever seen. As she flew away, I was giddy. How many people get to look a hummingbird in the eye? </p>
<p>This experience also made me think of Shiny Object Syndrome. For that Hummingbird, I was one big shiny object- an amazing opportunity that had no juice. A distraction from the nourishing goodness that comes from the non-shiny objects. I get distracted by shiny objects all the time. Thank goodness I am learning to spot them more quickly so I don’t have to go down the SOS rabbit hole so often. </p>
<p>Last week it was Hummingbird Cake. This week it was an actual real-life Hummingbird. What’s it all mean? </p>
<p>I decided to look up the symbolism behind a Hummingbird since the Universe is obviously trying to communicate with me. Here’s what I found: </p>
<p>• Endurance – Hummingbirds display persistence in different aspects of their lives. As small as they are, hummingbirds can migrate long distances, can survive food scarcity by going into a form of hibernation know as a torpor, and they have a tendency to hold on to planes even during turbulence. </p>
<p>• Continuation and Eternity – While in flight, the wings of hummingbirds move in a figure-eight motion, the universally known and ancient symbol of infinity. For this reason, they are seen as a sign of continuity and eternity. </p>
<p>• Joy – Love and joy can be felt from the sound and sight of the hummingbirds as they feed and interact. Where there are hummingbirds, there is bound to be a dance of beautiful colors and a harmony of beautiful melody, a combination that depicts joy. </p>
<p>• Flirtation – From the way it flies to the way it hovers, displaying its vibrant colors and singing its sweet melodies, the hummingbird is seen as a very flirtatious bird. </p>
<p>• Good Luck – This symbolic meaning derives from the Chinese culture that used the hummingbird as the Feng Shui symbol of good luck. This good luck symbolism can also be linked to the joy symbolism because, in the aspect of universal energy, joyous positive energy attracts good vibrations. </p>
<p>• Health and Vitality – The hummingbird pollinates flowers as it feeds on nectar. The process of pollination fertilizes the plants thus ensuring continuity. </p>
<p>• Divine Messages – This symbolic meaning derives from ancient Celtic and Native American mythologies, which both believe that hummingbirds delivered messages and guidance from divine entities. </p>
<p>Yes! I love all of these! I’ve been asking for some divine support to help me get through the launch of the <a contents="Starving Artist to Thriving Artrepreneur series" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://jennitooley.thinkific.com/courses/21-day-co-creating-event" target="_blank">Starving Artist to Thriving Artrepreneur series</a>- and it delivered! </p>
<p>More next week... <br>Jenni </p>
<p>PS: The 21-Day Event starts on Sunday. If you are ready to get addicted to THRIVING, I've got a limited number of Complimentary Tickets available! Comment with a Heck Yeah! and I'll get you set up! </p>
<p> <a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://jennitooley.thinkific.com/courses/21-day-co-creating-event" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/1c8009a672c7216f7e242e1b6220f38eb4da2893/original/thinkific-branding.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/70434152022-08-22T13:36:07-05:002022-08-22T13:36:07-05:00Hankering for a hunk of Hummingbird Cake<p>I have had a long-standing hankering for a Hummingbird Cake. I'm not sure what inspired the craving. Maybe it was the abundance of hummingbirds who fly about in the trees outside my window. Yesterday, I finally gave myself the time and permission to make this delicious cake. I really needed to get out of work-mode and baking is always a good way for me to get my hands and brain doing something "non-productive". Funny that I consider it non-productive because it produced a fabulously yummy cake! This is one of my favorite recipes- it comes from the cookbook my mom put together that contains all of my childhood faves:) </p>
<p> <a contents="" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChkWGfeMp-M/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/59ab024f9823fc4dc33664f2c2ee7e338f6d170f/original/screenshot-10.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsImxhcmdlIl1d.png" class="size_l justify_center border_medium" alt="" /></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was also inspired to play with IG reels with this cake-making adventure. This one is super fun:) </p>
<p>I've gotten much clearer on my relationships with social media and have decided to use it as a service and story-telling platform. After all- I love telling stories. Why should I limit that creative outlet only to projects that require big bucks and resources and a whole load of other stuff to share? Maybe the stories on SM aren't as perfectly produced or powerful (doubtful but that's what my brain says) but they are easily produced and accessible. Even if all I do is put a smile on someone's face or inspire someone to dig out their favorite recipes and make a cake- isn't that enough? </p>
<p>You can join me on IG by <a contents="clicking the image" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChkWGfeMp-M/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank">clicking the image</a> or finding me at @jennitooley. <br> </p>
<p>Happy to share the recipe- just ask:) <br>See you next time! <br>Jenni </p>
<p><em>PS: No Hummingbirds were harmed in the making of this cake:) Learn more about the history of Hummingbird cake here. </em></p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/70333552022-08-08T14:45:02-05:002022-08-08T14:45:02-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Magic Lilies!<p>This past week I discovered something amazing---Magic Lillies! </p>
<p>In the spring, my friend V and I had been discussing flowers that might grow in my new landscape. She had mentioned these flowers that basically pop up out of nowhere right after a rain. That was months ago. </p>
<p>In March, this lush foliage grew up around one of my retaining walls. It looked like big lily leaves to me, but nothing happened. Then it got hot. Really hot. And dry. And the leaves all died back, and I thought "maybe I should have watered the yard:(" </p>
<p>Then we had a rain- it rained and rained, and we were all dancing around in the street (yes, that really is a thing in my town). The next week I noticed these stalks shooting up out of the ground. No foliage, just stalks. Then there were buds. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b277f145d69a4aaa62fd54a236928da1d6a7f7ae/original/photo-aug-03-10-19-16-am.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>And then-- magic happened--huge pink lilies! </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/f0c0bbb4e1de9e07dac3dab0a500bb04e6a29417/original/photo-aug-06-1-12-44-pm.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>These things are all over my neighborhood. Some obviously planted in rows. Others sprouting up where an old homestead stood. And others- well, most of them- are completely random. There's a patch halfway down a hill, there's a patch by the road, there's a patch in the middle of another patch of something. I love them! </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/5652f76e99e68482998928a507c83f8d73f74b79/original/photo-aug-08-11-45-02-am.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /> </p>
<p>They make me think of my creativity. I really want to line things up. That feels really safe. And that drive is what makes me a great producer and project manager. I can get us from A to Z. But when that drive takes over it can be stifling. It shuts me down and all I can think about is logistics. My brain goes on overdrive, and I overthink. That's when I need space from that part of myself. I need to just allow those flowers to pop up wherever they want to grow rather than try to plant them in straight lines. </p>
<p>The way they grow also reminds me of my creative process. Sometimes it looks really lush. Then it looks dead, dried up, and dormant. And the next thing you know, a new bloom to arise from what seems like nothing. </p>
<p>That's exactly what's been happening lately- I feel like I'm getting a download all at once and I can't keep up. I want to lock the door on it because it doesn't look like what I wanted it to look like- but creativity cannot be control. Other things can, however, like my time, energy, outlook, and how I use it. </p>
<p>So, here's a warning-- something big is a 'coming! It's not going to look like what you expect from me- but it's going to be awesome! And I hope you join me for the journey:) Jenni </p>
<p>PS: Want to hop on and get a sneak peek early? <a contents="Click on through, baby!" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://jennitooley.thinkific.com/courses/10-minute-cure-for-creative-blocks-and-burnout" target="_blank">Click on through, baby!</a></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/70276942022-07-31T12:52:26-05:002022-07-31T12:52:26-05:00The unquantifiable path to Creative Motivation<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/5c7ef94f5d75b8e9f113a683aee8c0541fbc7fb4/original/img-4470.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Yesterday an ole band geek buddy reached out to me and asked me how I help people stay motivated and creative. I didn't respond immediately because my answer was too convoluted for a DM. This is not the first time a question like this has been posed- every business marketing course asks questions similar to these, as does my social media and marketing coach. <em>I haven't been able to quantify my approach or method. I think that is because it is largely unquantifiable. </em></p>
<p>One of the reasons that I choose to write A'Musing Mondays rather than Tip Tuesdays is because A'Musing is at the core of my approach. <strong>Let me give you an example. </strong></p>
<p>This morning I decided I would follow my intuition and take a walk. It's what I was guided to do- not what I should do or had to do. I wandered around town- it was a humid still morning and I was covered in a sweat sheen pretty quickly, but it was gorgeous outside. I had no destination- was just going where the windy roads led me. </p>
<p>I live in the middle of a hill so no matter what I have to climb a hill when I go walking. Today, rather than turn around and walk back to my hill I chose a different hill. This was a VERY LONG hill that ended in a VERY STEEP final bout. I was up for it. </p>
<p>I took two breaks on my way up- the first was on a well-placed bench on the broken-down sidewalk. As I sat there, I admired the gorgeously scaped yard across from me- full of foliage and little water falls and, yes, a small gnome village:) </p>
<p>I thought I was going to fall over by the time I got to the top, but I did it! From there it was a windy flat road and then a little downhill jaunt to my house. As my breath began to even out a lovely cool breeze began to blow. Then as I rounded a corner, I noticed one of my neighbors out on his porch playing the acoustic guitar. The lovely music guided me back home. <em>It was like the universe knew what I needed and provided because I was willing to receive it. </em></p>
<p>As I was approaching my street, this email began to bloom in my mind. The answer to the question that I was stymied on unfolded. And here we are. What I could have sat down and grinded on for hours flowed out of me in under fifteen minutes. </p>
<p>So, part of the answer to the question "what do you do to help people stay motivated and creative is- I give people permission to be imperfect and create space for their creativity. There's no 5-step process for that. It's very intuitive- especially if I am working 1:1 with someone. Alot of what I teach is about what we don't have to do rather than what we have to do. I also believe in the power of celebration and brain science. </p>
<p>In <a contents="Creative Space" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.patreon.com/jennitooley" target="_blank">Creative Space</a> I offer online spaces where people can show up and explore what they need to explore within a safe, flexible structure. And share tools that work for me too. And soon, I am going to offer a course that will help <a contents="starving artists turn into thriving artrepreneurs" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://thoughtful-experimenter-6774.ck.page/51a0a91ef9" target="_blank">starving artists turn into thriving artrepreneurs</a> by building, growing, and nurturing their fan sites so that they can have more space to follow their passions! </p>
<p>See you next time! Oh! Don't worry, next time there will be pictures of gnome villages! <br>Jenni </p>
<p>PS: Now is a great time to <a contents="join&nbsp;Creative Space" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.patreon.com/jennitooley" target="_blank">join Creative Space</a>- this month our theme will be Kicking Perfection in the Tush! And, if you are interested in being added to the waitlist for "Make your FanSite a Masterpiece" <a contents="click through:)&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://thoughtful-experimenter-6774.ck.page/51a0a91ef9" target="_blank">click through:) </a></p>
<p></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/69716642022-05-15T13:43:00-05:002022-07-24T18:39:39-05:00Where is joy? It's in the details.<p>Last week I was talking with a neighbor- there's a whole lotta chatting going on in this little town:) She said, "there's never anything new here." That gave me a pause, because I love walking around and exploring. I always find something new! At first, I thought "well, that's because your new, so of course this is all new to you." Then I realized- no, it's all about perspective. </p>
<p>Life is never stagnant- nor is the world around us. Everything is constantly changing. For example, right now we're in spring bloom. When I first arrived, there was snow, then crocus, then the trees began to sprout, then daffodils...and now Irises. Next up: Peonies!!!! I don't have to go to Trader Joe's to get my Peony fix! All of this is right outside my door. But for a limited time only;) If I'm not paying attention I will miss them- and the world will become one big blur. </p>
<p>It's also a matter of receiving beauty. What do I see? Well, this last week I was astounded by how many varieties of Bearded Iris are within a short walk of my house! I was inspired to photograph them so that you could enjoy them too. The details on these Irises are stunning- if you take a moment to soak them in;)</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/f291cea7031d5d618bc1b22d044d8f25a799c6e5/original/1.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/5c07c9d8a29ae9d3512d71b02caf9100af9b4084/original/2.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p><strong>An invitation:</strong> I'm inviting you to pause right now and let your eyes wander around your environment. Allow them to rest on something- maybe it's something you've seen a million times or maybe it's something you never took a second look at. Soak it in for 30 seconds. Now. How do you feel? What surprised you in that 30 seconds? I would love to hear about it!</p>
<p>See you next time! Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/68236082021-11-28T16:15:03-06:002021-11-28T16:15:03-06:00A'Musing Mondays: Skin Cancer...Seriously????<p>Happy Monday!</p>
<p>Well, I've got skin cancer! What???? How did that happen? It happens ya'll. What more can I say. Actually I can say a lot more so check out the video:)</p>
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<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="w20hHP64qns" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/w20hHP64qns/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/w20hHP64qns?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67855792021-10-24T17:22:36-05:002022-05-22T13:18:49-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Fundraising? Amusing? Hmmm...<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/8bea47188cd4006ab84b155aa4b3fb776823faeb/original/tempimagew1iema.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Happy Monday! </p>
<p><em>Currently my attention as come to this: </em><br>Fundraising. Can it be fun? </p>
<p>After running 4 fundraising campaigns from 2015-18- 3 for STUCK and 1 for Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley….wait…make that 2 for Smart Cookies…Let’s start over. After having run 5 fundraising campaigns in a period of less than three years I was all funned- and possibly funded-out. </p>
<p><em>I am not alone. </em><br>My friend Jenny recently completed a crowdfunding campaign (and is now in post production!). When I asked her how she was feeling about having raised nearly all the money for the short film in one campaign rather than having to run a second one as originally planned, she said something like “Grateful. And I never want to do that again.” </p>
<p>Yep! Who wants to do that again? </p>
<p><em>Enter stage right Ela Thier and her $600 in 6 days challenge. </em></p>
<p>She'd already got me at "in 6-days". Raise money for a creative project in 6 days committing only 10 minutes a day? What? </p>
<p>When I joined the challenge the title of the first email included “Fun-Raising” and I thought, “I am in the right place.” Last month I was like, “nope, never again”. Now I am like…hmmmm. Can I really make fundraising fun again? Can I make it amusing again? </p>
<p><em>The funded-out part </em><br>There’s another piece of thinking in there that I hesitate to mention too…it's the voice that says "I can’t ask for more, I’ve already asked for too much!" </p>
<p>Poverty thinking and self doubt. Man, oh man, what stinkers! “You’re not good enough. Your work is not good enough. You owe everyone now!” The sad thing is that this kind of thinking is supported by our culture too. For example, I was on a film festival panel where I was asked a question that began with “Now that you have called in every favor you have in Dallas to get your film made…”. </p>
<p><em>Cue shame spiral. </em><br>But wait a second— who says those “favors” weren’t freely given? That money wasn’t freely given? That the project itself wasn’t worth someone else’s support? That my work is not worth someone else’s support. </p>
<p>Ela Thier addresses that very thing in this Challenge. <br>You are worth it. <br>Your work is worth it. <br>You are talented. <br>Hmmmm…. </p>
<p><em>So I’m participating in her Challenge to disprove this notion that </em></p>
<p>There is a “favor or money” limit on my creativity. <br>That raising money is hard, and quite frankly, sucks! </p>
<p>If you are interested in joining her <a contents="Challenge you can" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://theindependentfilmschool.com/raise-money/?ck_subscriber_id=1313316675&utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Money-Raising+Challenge+for+busy+people%2C+an+invite%20-%206831995" target="_blank">Challenge you can</a>! Below is her spiel— it’s pretty hard to find excuses why you can’t do it;). </p>
<p>See ya' next time! <br>Jenni </p>
<p><span class="font_large"><strong>Raise $600 in 6 Days Challenge </strong></span></p>
<p>Raise money for your practice shoot, or any creative project, in just 10 minutes a day. Gain the skills to raise any amount. </p>
<p>Cost: It's FREE </p>
<p>Time commitment: 10 minutes a day for 6 days. </p>
<p>Who it's for: You. Any artist, at any level of experience (including none), who wants to learn and practice the skills of raising money for creative projects. </p>
<p>When: October 30 to Wed, Nov 4. </p>
<p>How does it work: For 6 days, I'll send you a short daily video in an email, explaining your next step. Follow my steps and you'll raise $600 in 6 days. Join our facebook group for more guidance and support. </p>
<p>Why do this? The skills you develop to raise $600 are the same skills you'll need to raise more, even a lot more. Whether or not you've ever raised money for a creative project before, you'll feel inspired and find yourself enjoying raising money. If you're a veteran money raiser, you might pick up a few tricks! You'll certainly learn how to train other artists in raising money for creative projects.</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67788712021-10-17T16:50:52-05:002021-10-17T16:50:52-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Moods and Music<p>Hi Sunshine!</p>
<p>It's Monday again! Hope yours is going well. If it's not, I have the antidote.</p>
<p>During our <a contents="Creative Bubbles" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Creative Bubbles</a> there is about an hour long period where we all turn off our zoom video and go off on our own creative adventures. Five minutes before it’s time to gather back together, I play a music video to give everyone the head's up. Usually one that I’ve found off the cuff and probably have never watched before. Sometimes it can be a great laugh for all. Others it can a bit dangerous;). )Especially when I chose Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax”.) </p>
<p>One night I stumbled upon the most delightful video of Jack Johnson and Paula Fuga singing "If Ever" together out under the Hawaiian skies-- him with his guitar, her with her uke, and both with their easeful chill voices. I love how music so effectively changes my energy and mood if I take the time to listen:)</p>
<p>Check it out! It's bound to lower your blood pressure:)<br>Until next time!<br>Jenni</p>
<p> </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="O70DpD7QAI0" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/O70DpD7QAI0/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/O70DpD7QAI0?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67718472021-10-10T15:50:01-05:002021-10-10T15:50:01-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Dumpster Flowers! The Redux<p>Howdy my friend!<br><br>So I was thinking about death. Wait a second, let me rephrase that. I was thinking about the idea of cut flowers-- and not wanting them because they "are only going to die". Well, the dumpster flower experience continues...</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/da11e8db75d471f53ce140ef1850aa9d77898b06/original/tempimagexzlngm.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>(If you haven't read the Dumpster Flower story, <a contents="check it out here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://jennitooley.com/start-here/blog/a-musing-mondays-dumpster-flowers" target="_blank">check it out here</a>).</p>
<p>For having been tossed en masse into the dumpster, these flowers perked right up and stayed perky for quite a long time. But then, of course, they began to fade, shed their petals, and dry up. Here's how they continued to live on:</p>
<ul> <li>I kept a couple of dried tea roses to remind me of the lessons learned from the Dumpster Flowers</li> <li>I redesigned the bouquets into fewer arrangements as some flowers lasted longer than others</li> <li>While redesigning, rose petals were falling off everywhere and it struck me: take a bath in rose petals! I haven't done that since I was at a spa a couple of decades ago!</li> <li>They went back into the ground to fertilize other flowers</li>
</ul>
<p>There was also a post in my Buy Nothing group from another woman who had gotten herself some dumpster flowers. She has a wedding coming up and she planned on getting a crown of dried flowers for her hair. Guess what? She was able to make her own using the dumpster flowers! It's so beautiful and I can't wait to see how it looks once the flowers have all dried out.</p>
<p>So, yes. This is actually a musing on death and rebirth and being in the moment. It's all about enjoying what we can when we have it and then understanding how it morphs into something else. That we are consistently flowing and useful and loved no matter where we are in life...or death.</p>
<p>If this were a perfect post, I would have pictures of all of these things...but I don't...I was too busy living my beautifully imperfect life!</p>
<p>Love you!<br>Jenni</p>
<p>PS: Speaking of resurrection;), I've had quite a few inquiries about whether of not I am going to offer the <a contents="25 Days of Light Email Advent Calendar " data-link-label="Email Programs" data-link-type="page" href="/email-programs" target="_blank">25 Days of Light Email Advent Calendar </a>again this year. The answer is yes! I'll send an email out later this week with more info:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67648202021-10-03T10:57:33-05:002021-10-03T10:57:33-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Dumpster Flowers!<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/01b73edb844343da0ee303a357b79999eaaef872/original/tempimage5x42rs.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Hello darlin!</p>
<p>I keep thinking that I'm going to get back to some heavy-duty musing, but my guidance keeps leading me toward the light, so here goes...</p>
<p>Yesterday I saw a post in my Buy Nothing Group. Someone had dumped hundreds of flowers and arrangements from an event by the dumpster. The woman who runs the local reuse center asked one of our members to post a pic and encourage everyone to come get some flowers. </p>
<p>I LOVE FRESH FLOWERS! But my budget doesn't allow me to purchase them very often. Oddly enough, I hesitated about going over. Look...it was only a mile away. It's not like I had to drive to Peru. But still my creative blocker-- my "you can't have that, you don't deserve that"- popped up. Rather than listen to it, I got in my car and drove to the dumpster. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/39dd7665be084255a694c7a5e3886272ffb8c040/original/tempimageyb8kox.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sidCIsOTBdXQ==.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>What happened next? </p>
<ul> <li>I met some of my neighbors who also came to get some flowers</li> <li>I met the woman who runs the reuse center</li> <li>I discovered a quirky art studio area that I didn't know was there.</li> <li>I got to design flower arrangements and realized I'm pretty darn good at it.</li> <li>I rescued flowers from the trash.</li>
</ul>
<p>And I am now enjoying beautiful flowers, all over my apartment!</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/6e478685a150a91592e5362d83d249cd60667e36/original/tempimagee1k7wh.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W1sidCIsOTBdXQ==.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>It also led me to thinking about how much "stuff" we waste that others could use. And how much abundance there is out there if we are willing to receive it.<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/da11e8db75d471f53ce140ef1850aa9d77898b06/original/tempimagexzlngm.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Until next week...enjoy the flowers!</p>
<p>Love ya bunches!<br>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67581202021-09-26T16:59:13-05:002021-09-26T16:59:13-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Bruce the Cleft-Lipped Cat gets a bath<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/260931aa3a5af5f2546894ab751a251b49309f48/original/bruce-bath.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Happy A'Musing Monday to you! Bruce is not amused. Bruce is never amused...except when he is playing. SMART CAT!</p>
<p>I've been following Bruce's journey at<a contents=" Fuzzy Texan Animal Rescue" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/FuzzyTexan" target="_blank"> Fuzzy Texan Animal Rescue</a> from when he was just a little tiny puff ball to an adolescent youth. He always cracks me up! I have noticed a pattern with Bruce though- if he isn't playing, is stuck in a cage, or not getting his way...he is a grumpy mumpy. I think that this is true of all of us to some extent. I know that it is for me. Any time I get consistently irritable and grumpy I know that I need to look at what I am depriving myself of or where I am giving (or allowing) too much. Sometimes I need a trusted friend or coach to help me get enough distance to see whatever it is that is buggering things up. Then I need to ask for help and pray for some strength and courage if I'm not able to adjust on my own. I'm much happier now. My enthusiasm- although startling to some- spreads to others. And to me, that's how we change the world:)</p>
<p>How have you changed the world today?<br>Love ya! <br>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67512202021-09-19T12:49:18-05:002021-09-19T12:51:08-05:00A'Musing Mondays: childhood joys, popsicles, good deeds, hot flashes and hot days<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="TrbZ-Ih7kOo" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/TrbZ-Ih7kOo/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TrbZ-Ih7kOo?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>It's Monday folks! You don't have to dread Mondays-- instead make them amusing!</p>
<p>This one is about Johnny Pop popsicles, good deeds, and flashing back to pre-techno life.</p>
<p>Do you have memories of ordering things out of Boy's Life magazine, collecting cereal box coupons to get a fun reward sent to you in the mail, or something like it? Share in the comments!</p>
<p>Are you ready to reframe your life?<br>Join me!</p>
<p>PS: I can't send you stuff by snail mail yet, but I can send you daily support and fun. Interested? <a contents="Check out my email programs!" data-link-label="Email Programs" data-link-type="page" href="/email-programs" target="_blank">Check out my email programs!</a></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67405452021-09-12T23:00:00-05:002021-09-12T23:00:02-05:00A'Musing Mondays: The cats were not amused<p>Last week I promised you a cat in a hat. </p>
<p>I attempted to deliver!</p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="8BCJDDvi13s" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/8BCJDDvi13s/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8BCJDDvi13s?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>I was amused...I don't think that Sunny and Toast were though;)</p>
<p>Please feel free to share any of your favorite animal pics or vids!</p>
<p>Have a great week!<br>Jenni</p>
<p>PS: want more fun? Join us for a <a contents="Sunday Funday Bubble" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Sunday Funday Bubble</a> this Sunday from 3-5pm CST!</p>
<p>PSS: My cats have a condition called cerebellar hypoplasia which affects their motor skills. They are not in pain and live fabulous lives!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67367312021-09-05T17:17:21-05:002021-09-05T17:17:21-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Update on doing what I want, when I want, how I want!<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="Ko6TGQ0D4Bo" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/Ko6TGQ0D4Bo/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ko6TGQ0D4Bo?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>Today we're catching up on how the "do what I want, when I want, how I want" experiment is going. </p>
<p>Wait, what? Did you miss that one? You can check it out here. I decided to do an experiment where I chose to believe that it was safe to do what I want to, when I want to, how I want to. In today's video I am going to share what I have learned so far...you may be surprised! </p>
<p>Have you been experimenting with this too? If you have, I'd love to hear about how it is going:) </p>
<p>See you next week! There may be a cat in a hat involved!!! <br>Love ya! <br>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67304002021-08-29T14:12:38-05:002021-08-29T14:12:38-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Popcorn on the ear!<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="Yi6dQDo2DYI" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/Yi6dQDo2DYI/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Yi6dQDo2DYI?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>Okay! This is our first A'Musing Monday that's all about being amused! Good news! I am easily amused-- I hope you are too:)</p>
<p>Have you ever heard of Popcorn on the Ear? I hadn't- until someone in my local Buy Nothing Group posted one as a give. It was super fun! And very tasty. Check it out! </p>
<p>What amuses you?</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67240572021-08-22T16:35:34-05:002021-08-22T16:35:34-05:00A'Musing Mondays: Isolation is a creativity killer<p>It's an A'Musing Monday!</p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="lgKNDdb6yA0" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/lgKNDdb6yA0/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lgKNDdb6yA0?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>Is the phrase "I need to go to cabin in the mountains to write" or something like it familiar to you? Me too. The fact is that this is a beautiful excuse not to create. A wonderful form of self-sabotage. So is isolating.</p>
<p>You don't have to create alone. Spending time on your own because you need it is one thing, but isolating is another. Isolation forms creative blocks and kills creativity.</p>
<p>Are you struggling with isolation? I get it. Come visit us in <a contents="Creative Bubbles" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Cr</a><a contents="creative bubbles" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">eative Bubbles</a>. These are safe spaces where you are with others, but still in your own space. We support and encourage each other in whatever it is that we are undertaking. There's no criticism, no advice-giving, and no feedback sessions. Just support and celebration!</p>
<p>See ya next time!</p>
<p>PS: In this musing I talk about Ela Their. You can join her <a contents="Independent Film School for Free-" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://sparklp.co/jenni99783a" target="_blank">Independent Film School for Free-</a>- her Tip Tuesday's rock!</p>
<p>www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubbles</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67187132021-08-16T16:00:22-05:002021-08-16T16:00:22-05:00A’Musing Mondays: Be.Have. Do. Being trustworthy with myself<p> </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="4aDfKz-9QTY" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/4aDfKz-9QTY/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4aDfKz-9QTY?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>Another musing on the Do.Have.Be. vs Be. Have. Do. paradox. This one is about building trust in others and feeling safer in the world by being trustworthy to myself. If you are familiar with self-abandonment, you already get what I mean;) If not, check it out! Let me know how this resonates with your experience :)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67118012021-08-09T18:15:53-05:002021-08-09T22:45:06-05:00A'Musin' Mondays: Be. Have. Do.<p> </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="hwhKW7IP6GU" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/hwhKW7IP6GU/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hwhKW7IP6GU?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>I’ve been reframing a lot of things lately- my perspective on money, perfection, and…Mondays!!! </p>
<p>Rather than dread Mondays, I would like to use them as my muse! Or to muse on things! Or listen to muse-ic! So that’s what I am going to do. </p>
<p>This week I have set an intention that I am not going to do anything I don’t want to do. What????? That’s not possible. And yet…I feel that that force is with me on this one Young Jedi. So I’m going to give it a try and see what happens. </p>
<p>I talk more about this my first impromptu A'musin' Video where I also talk about </p>
<p>how my intention for the last few weeks has worked out </p>
<p>the concept of "be. have. do." rather than "do. have. be." </p>
<p>And I’m calling you to action to share your thoughts or join me on this experiment this week! </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/67100472021-08-07T12:48:22-05:002021-08-07T16:45:04-05:00Rockin' it with Creative Bubbles!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/7935db0e38a79d5b846288a239c20917bc4084ea/original/sunday-funday-rocks.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I’m so happy to be doing Sunday Funday Creative Bubbles twice a month now. It’s amazing how just a little bit of me-time can get me so pumped up! </p>
<p>Right now, carving out time for myself and focusing on things “that have no purpose” is very challenging. <strong>The truth is that “things that have no purpose” have a significant one</strong>- they reenergize and recharge me. They keep me from burning out. And I’m beginning to get a glimmer that they may actually be a good portion of what life is really about. <strong> Embracing “things that have no purpose” bring joy and meaning to my life. </strong> It’s a bit of a contradiction to my old way of thinking. But I’m glad that I got there. </p>
<p>I’m excited about the <a contents="Sunday Funday Bubble" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Sunday Funday Bubble</a> that’s happening from 3-5pm CST tomorrow— and super excited about the <a contents="Bubble Bath" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Bubble Bath</a> from 11-7pm CST on August 22! You can soak it up all day long or join us on the odd hours (11, 1, 3, and 5) These are small groups— you will not be floating in a sea of faces. I want to keep the connection and support and creativity and fun flowing! Bring a friend for free all month long- even to the Bubble Bath! </p>
<p>Okay, back to work. See you in the Bubble:) <br>Lots of love!</p>
<p>Jenni</p>
<p>PS: In honor of our month-long 1-year Anniversay Celebration, anyone who signs up for the Bubble Bath will be welcome to join us in Creative Bubbles for the month of September at no charge and eligible to lock in the current monthly subscription rate of $50 FOREVER if they choose to join us in the <a contents="Creative Space" data-link-label="Creative Bubble Access" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubble-access" target="_blank">Creative Space</a>. </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/66850122021-07-11T15:09:56-05:002021-08-16T16:04:04-05:00Resilience. Persistence. And the reframe from failure to success.<p><iframe allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="476" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?height=476&href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fjenni.tooley%2Fvideos%2F168582118592166%2F&show_text=false&width=267&t=0" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" width="267"></iframe></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/65786832021-03-18T21:46:03-05:002021-03-19T00:30:14-05:00Woohoo! My first magazine interview with That Nerd Show (Feat. Bottle Rocket 25th Anniversary)!<p> </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="o9Q4yewidfA" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/o9Q4yewidfA/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/o9Q4yewidfA?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>I can't believe it's been 25 years since I was in Bottle Rocket!</p>
<p>Yo can listen to more BTS about Bottle Rocket<a contents=" on my podcast:)" data-link-label="" data-link-type="track" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/track/1819652/ep-9-have-i-told-you-about-the-time-i-was-cast-in-wes-anderson-s-bottle-rocket" target="_blank"> on my podcast:)</a></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64965252020-12-10T13:42:15-06:002020-12-10T17:45:09-06:00Take back your power and own yourself with the reframe!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/91eb06959c35607e06d57c15f253997b90546faa/original/img-2248.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I'm a bit all over the place right now:). That's okay, that's actually where I thrive. Every time I try to fit myself in a box or keep myself in line I get a little depressed and my energy crashes. I've had to actively reframe my language-- I think of myself as "flighty". I once has a mentor call me "flaky". When I think of myself in those terms, the "chick with a stick" who lives in my brain has a lot of ammo to use to beat me up with. But if I think of myself as curious, adventurous and interested in exploring all that life has to offer, then the chick with a stick has a lot less power and I have a lot more freedom and energy to be me. Is there something you've been framing using negative language that you could turn around for yourself?</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64808052020-11-18T15:52:38-06:002020-11-18T18:00:56-06:00We are all creative!<p>This one's a quickie!</p>
<p>I'm consistently exploring what creativity is- I'm thinking that it is everything!</p>
<p>In this video he states: "The best way to be more creative is to learn about creativity". Well, there ya go!</p>
<p><strong>A Deeper Understanding of Creativity | Daniel Cape</strong></p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="Lr8PhkTrx1E" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/Lr8PhkTrx1E/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Lr8PhkTrx1E?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64760812020-11-12T12:38:19-06:002020-11-12T14:15:08-06:00Just do it! <p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/405b9d63c8d6864b75a3ba2aa4a2081e467078ab/original/jenni-trapp.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Let's talk process. The last couple of weeks I have used the work/play time during our <a contents="Weeknight Creative Bubble" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Weeknight Creative Bubble</a> to focus on writing a new script. It's been an interesting process as I am used to sitting down and writing large chunks at a time- like 30 pages. But in our Tuesday night bubble we only have one hour and ten minutes of work/play time so I have had to get used to writing in short chunks- like a few paragraphs or a couple of pages at a time. It's a different process for me- but I am grateful. I don't think I would be working on the script at all if I weren't in the Bubble. The Bubble has also proven to me that I don't have to have a lot of time to write- which is why I wrote 5 pages this week instead of blowing it off.</p>
<p>So just do it folks! You'll feel a whole lot better- I promise!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64712512020-11-05T21:37:30-06:002020-11-06T01:00:25-06:00Return to calm: breath, meditation and gratitude<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="yy4HHXxoz1o" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/yy4HHXxoz1o/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yy4HHXxoz1o?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>This week has been a doozy ya'll! If you need help getting back to center and finding your calm check out this video. I talk about how the breath works and how it affects our nervous systems. And then we make out way through some breathing practices, a guided meditation and a gratitude practice!</p>
<p>Be well:)</p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64607682020-10-21T16:03:43-05:002022-05-22T13:18:23-05:00A Quick Look into the Creative Process<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/34e04bcbb7a0e92b25615c6ba3190454dcd60dda/original/1.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>When I was a kid, I loved getting mail. I remember sending off for autographed celebrity photos and such from magazines and exchanging letters with foreign pen-pals, and all kinds of other exciting things. Then adulthood hit- and the bills and junk mail arrived in my mailbox. Then email came along and nearly replaced posted mail. And, of course, it didn't take long for the junk mail to find my email box. Jam-packed with junk, junk, junk. Even though I have unsubscribed from almost every list I end up on, there's still a lot of junk. I thought wouldn't it be nice to go back in time and look forward to opening your mail each day? How could I make this happen for people? I can't afford to do it through the post, but I could do it through email. And then I thought about the Christmas Advent Calendar my did for me every year when I was growing up and how I looked forward each morning to see what little goodie was wrapped in tissue paper. And I thought— hey, let's do that! But through email! I could combine the email idea with the 25-day advent calendar concept and create an email program. Then I thought- what would I send? What do people need that I can offer? Things that have helped me like self care tips, affirmations, love notes, inspiration and support. Hmmmm… now what to call it that would be accessible to everyone and make sense? Until recently, I didn't know that advent traditionally counted down to the darkest day of the year- the solstice. And that Christmas-loosely speaking-is about the birth of light in the darkness. Aha! How about calling the email program "25 days of light?!?" </p>
<p>And there it was— the birth of a new Creative Life Support Service! And you don't have to be a "Creative" to reap the benefits! It's really amazing where creativity will take you when you go with the flow and don't try to tell it what to do.</p>
<p><a contents="You can check out the program, see a sample letter, and sign up here!" data-link-label="Email Programs" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/email-programs" target="_blank">You can check out the program, see a sample letter, and sign up here!</a></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64542922020-10-12T15:44:56-05:002020-10-12T20:00:20-05:00Measuring success: it's all in in my head<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/6db422b8a80deeda716d871acc3796e592344eb2/original/img-2285.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Success. That’s a loaded word isn’t it? I often feel like a big ole failure because I have not met my own very high expectations or the expectations that society has about what it looks like to be successful. Sad isn’t it? Seeing myself as a failure creates all kinds of problems in my life, not to mention it's not very nice. So I’ve been consistently reworking this word and what it means. I also have to rework a whole set of core beliefs that are etched out in my neural pathways or just “rethinking” it’s meaning will have no real affect on my life and how I live it. </p>
<p>Something about this definition of success hit the mark: “Maybe success isn’t about achieving the end goal. Maybe it is about how I show up.” Well, if that’s the measure of success, I am uber-succesful. And, I think that since I have been practicing awareness in how I choose to show up for so long then this definition of success has a much better chance of taking hold in my brain. Yay! </p>
<p>How do you measure success? Is it working for you? Would love to hear from you:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64517552020-10-08T13:38:31-05:002020-10-08T14:00:14-05:00Overcoming audition crazymakers<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/94114e18efafce99473da10ca9337801a1fe38bf/original/img-1774.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I had an audition this week. It was a high paying gig. Once again I had to go through the 5-finger death punch to decide whether or not the audition was worth it-- well, the 5-finger death punch has an added finger called COVID-19, which makes it even harder to decide whether or not it's worth the time. I also realized this week that auditions are <a contents="crazymakers" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://juliacameronlive.com/2015/02/28/do-you-have-a-crazymaker/" target="_blank">crazymakers</a> for me. They hijack my life- they are set up that way. When you have 24 hours to create a character and memorize 5 pages of sides that's insane! But we accept it because that's how it is.</p>
<p>Well, after already having spent 30 minutes just trying to decide whether or not I was going to do the audition, I said "no more time on you, crazy maker! You go to the end of the line, and if I have time for you I will give it and if I don't I won't". And it worked. My obsessive mind turned off because I had attended to the problem by "scheduling" the audition. I got everything done I had intended to do that day. And I recorded the audition.</p>
<p>I won't post it publicly, but I shared the raw video of the audition with my Creative Space members- even the part I cut out in the final edit. It's a weird world when you are talking to yourself and pretending to be at a party while alone in your house:)</p>
<p>See you next time!<br>Jenni</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64471382020-10-01T12:38:10-05:002020-10-01T15:00:09-05:00Although it is different, I choose to embrace it.<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/48229586da6bf0114e0c59195892eafcf7a1b5eb/original/120396711-458947871750679-5853516637456009325-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>My lovely friend Tony Ramirez (you may know him as the Diner Manager in STUCK), posted photos from a play I did 21 years ago called "Polaroid Stories". It was the first professional play (and perhaps the last) that I produced in a brick and mortar theater. It was part of a short lived late night series at the Undermain Theater. It was such a fun show. My most clear memory, however, is falling off of a riser during tech- that's what happens when you are running around in platform tennis shoes and the lights go out- and sitting in the emergency room with the Artistic Director (Raphael Parry) until about midnight. Yep! Ankle sprained. Big old boot required. So I did the show in one of those crazy boots- it worked though because my character was a street kid hooked on crack. Now that I think about it I've done 3 plays over my career in one of those boots...hmmm.</p>
<p>It was lovely to remember that play, but it did bring up a lot of my past hoo-hah. Funny how that happens. And a yearning to produce some more crazy a** sh**. But where I am at today is a great place. And although it is different, I choose to embrace it. That is where the power lies.</p>
<p>Love you all!</p>
<p>Jenni</p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/e7f833b942f87fe4fadadaa4d36f11fa91f39028/original/120415800-458948318417301-7543049525837190074-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64397762020-09-21T18:06:55-05:002020-09-21T19:00:10-05:00One day at a time. This too shall pass.<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/952cf84f9491fa3a094666ac7ff475b9b50a8a0a/original/one-day-at-a-time-this-too-shall-pass.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I used to hate slogans- yeuk! So trite. So beneath me! So…hey, wait a minute…effective! </p>
<p>Slogans are brilliant because they have been distilled down into something that is easy to remember. And when we are struggling or in distress, we need things that are easy to remember. Trust me, I know! I have taken on many slogans over the years and used them to great effect. But I have also found that sometimes it’s really helpful to combine slogans together. Like these two: One day at a time. This too shall pass. </p>
<p>Now, why did my brain mash these two together? One Day at a time reminds me to live in this day only. That way if I am freaking out about not having enough but I look around me and see that I have everything I need FOR TODAY, then I can calm down and get into some gratitude. Or if things are really crappy today then I can assure myself that I can do anything for twelve hours or so and that tomorrow will be another day. </p>
<p>But in times like we are going through right now I need the added benefit of stepping back and taking a big picture view too. Which leads us to: This too shall pass. </p>
<p>This too shall pass tells me that …well.. this is going to pass! I don’t get to decide how long it is going to take or what’s going to be on the other side of “this” but I know that it won’t be forever. At one point in my life I had the sense that this state I was in or the state of things was going to last forever. And I didn’t even know it- it was just built in. A therapist had to point the belief out to me and challenge it. Wow! How awesome was that— that the depression and anxiety I was feeling wasn’t going to last forever???</p>
<p>So there it is: One day at a time this is going to pass. And for today I am quite content. It has cooled off and is raining. Toast is a warm bundle in my lap. Sunny is mewing and playing on the floor behind me. I have enough money and food for today. It’s quiet in my home right now. I have a few things like <a contents="Creative Bubbles" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Creative Bubbles</a>, a screenwriting workshop, and a Swicthfoot concert to look forward to this week. And, eventually, life circumstances will change again and we’ll see what comes!</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64345062020-09-15T14:46:41-05:002020-09-15T18:30:13-05:00Sometimes I need someone else to help me get over myself<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a3fe44945dd11d5641daa42cd9847db198f1de15/original/img-2137-copy.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>On Sunday night I had an idea— let’s face it folks, I have hundreds of ideas a week. That’s one of my challenges- discerning which idea to follow. It was a screenplay. And it wasn’t the screenplay I was supposed to be writing. I decided to sit down and give this idea some space. I sat and wrote for a couple of late night hours on my porch. Monday I installed the screenwriting software into my newly upgraded 2012 MacBook Pro and was going to copy and paste what I had written over- but alas, for reasons I won’t go into here- copy and paste wasn’t available. So I retyped it all in— which meant I could fill out the pieces that needed filling and rewrite some pieces that needed rewriting. A few hours later I had a clean version of the first act (30 pages) and the final two scenes fully written. An hour or so later, while watching Top Gun, the 2nd Act points fell together. </p>
<p>Then I started doubting. Oh boy, did I. </p>
<p>“This is schlock.” </p>
<p>“It’s isn’t very good.” </p>
<p>“The storyline is lame.” </p>
<p>Oh yes, my friends, the gremlins came a’calling. My muse was still writing, however, as I was trying to go to sleep. So many voices pounding around in my head. Thank goodness I have so many tools to help me calm down and sleep but instead of seeing that I went the other direction. By this morning I decided that this was an unhealthy approach to life. “I had spent two days writing a questionable piece of ? That would never be seen by anyone anyway.” </p>
<p>And then I happened upon a video by <a contents='Ethan Hawke, "Give Yourself Permission To Be Creative",' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRS9Gek4V5Q" target="_blank">Ethan Hawke</a>, "Give Yourself Permission to be Creative", that paused all that shit in my head and helped me get back on track. </p>
<p>It’s my job to play the fool. It’s my job to be creative regardless of the product. It’s my job to translate something that is ephemeral into something that people can talk about and feel about and that has the possibility to heal. Ok. Thanks Ethan. I knew that that video was talking to me— and just to make sure that there could be no doubt- he finished out with the song that I had the honor or singing with him years ago in Boyhood. Sometimes I need someone else to help me get over myself. Thanks universe!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64301392020-09-10T13:00:14-05:002020-09-10T13:00:14-05:00Here's a Creative Bubble for you:)<p> </p>
<p>Hi Everyone!</p>
<p>I've been busy creating something new- and it's for you guys! It's called Creative Bubbles!</p>
<p>Consider this your online Creative Space. Show up. Say hi. Tell us what you're working on or what you need to be held accountable for (optional). I will guide you through a quick breathing/meditation to start and then you're off to create! You can interact through comments and hearts and such- this is a great way to sneak off during work hours and get a little creating done. </p>
<p>Here's a sample of a Lunchtime Creative Bubble held on FBLive on Thursdays at 12:15pm(CST). You can actually use it anytime you like- you just won't be able to use the comment feature:)</p>
<p> <iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="5BKpdEKSnKM" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/5BKpdEKSnKM/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5BKpdEKSnKM?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p><strong><a contents="Want to join longer bubbles on ZOOM?" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Want to join longer bubbles on ZOOM?</a> </strong></p>
<p>1.5 hour Weeknight Bubble: We meet via Zoom on Tuesdays from 8-9:30pm (CST). This Bubble provides more of a community feeling as we will all check-in face to face. We'll take a few minutes to get grounded and you can share what you're working on or what you need to be held accountable for (optional). Then get to work on your own offline. We'll swing back around at the end to see how it went and say aloha! </p>
<p>Day Long Bubbles:We'll be blowing bubbles all day long On Sept 11, 18, & 19! We'll be doing three bubbles back to back at 11, 1:00pm, and 3:00pm (CST). We'll keep the same format that we use for our Weeknight Bubbles-- but we'll be doing them back to back with short break in between so you can get some serious momentum going!</p>
<p><a contents="Click through for for more info and to sign up!" data-link-label="Creative Bubbles" data-link-type="page" href="/creative-bubbles" target="_blank">Click through for for more info and to sign up!</a></p>
<p>See you there:)</p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64117612020-08-17T21:40:58-05:002020-09-10T12:54:17-05:00It's confirmed: I am a total Nerd!<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/9db5e2bca1430efc329dbff343dc3b4f34236f14/original/img-2037.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Check it out! I got to talk with Marcus Blake and Alex Moore from <a contents="That Nerd Show again" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://thatnerdshow.com/site/2020/08/17/interview-with-jenni-tooley-from-that-nerd-show-with-marcus-blake-and-alex-moore-women-in-film-womens-texas-film-festival-2020/" target="_blank">That Nerd Show again</a>! This time we talked about filmmaking during a pandemic, women in film, Stuck, and the Women's Texas Film Festival! We also covered Bottle Rocket (25th Anniversary in 2021) and Arlington Road!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="pt0FZEYwjlA" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/pt0FZEYwjlA/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pt0FZEYwjlA?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64090882020-08-13T15:35:00-05:002020-08-13T19:30:16-05:00The Grant Writing Process/Part 5: Project Description <p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/99e134aed2a7ba8ad26cc80fb097055f11ad94ba/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Okay ya'll! We're wrapping this up with a big finale! The Project Description! You are going to be the first to hear about my next film project! But since I'm not quite ready to go public with my next film project this one will be for Patron's Eyes Only. <a contents="&nbsp;To become a patron hop on over here and sign up!" data-link-label="JT Experience" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/jt-experience" target="_blank"> To become a patron hop on over here and sign up!</a></p>
<p>I'll open this post up to the public as soon as I'm ready to make a public announcement:)</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64037892020-08-06T15:35:26-05:002020-08-06T15:38:43-05:00The Grant Writing Process/Part 5: Project Description <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Okay ya'll! We're wrapping this up with a big finale! The Project Description! You are going to be the first to hear about my next film project! Please do not share this information with any one else-- it is currently under wraps and for your eyes only;) </p>
<p>PROJECT DESCRIPTION should include the following: </p>
<p>Statement of Purpose - 2-4 paragraphs <br>about the subject of the project, why and how you want to explore it <br>How the funds will be used - 1-2 paragraphs about how the $5,000 grant will advance the project (note that paying yourself to work is accepted and encouraged) <br>History of project (how long project has been in development and any progress that has been made to date, 1 sentence to 1 paragraph) </p>
<p>This one kind of kicked my butt. I misread the part about how long it was supposed to be-- I can't even remember where they noted that. I think it's on the application itself and not on the application instructions. I ended up writing twice as much as they would accept so I had to pair it down--eek! </p>
<p>So without further ado..here it is. </p>
<p>It's our job as actresses to be an attractive object— Alison Brie </p>
<p>One day, I was shocked when I walked into a new workplace and realized that I was the same age as a majority of my co-worker's mothers. Some of them had children of their own, which also meant that I could be a grandmother. This concept that I could be a grandmother hit me abruptly. Since I have no children of my own, I haven't experienced the gentle evolution of aging based on the aging of a child. At that moment, my perception of myself and how I fit into the world changed so quickly that it was surreal. </p>
<p>I started my professional acting career at the impressionable age of 19. For me, it's been challenging to keep a realistic body image while being an actor— and I'm not even a hardcore in front of the camera all the time type of actor. But here's what I know— if I want to work a lot, I need to stay thin, youthful, and shiny. Now that isn't true for every actor, but for someone who started in the industry as an ingenue, this concept of how I am supposed to look is deeply programmed. So what happens when I am no longer a skinny-mini, the wrinkles on my face begin to express the roadmap of my life, and I'm "past my prime"? My whole sense of self is challenged. </p>
<p>I have also struggled with the low self-esteem that can be induced by the constant rejection that comes with being an actor. For years, I tried to be what I thought "they" wanted me to be. I stopped doing a lot of things that I enjoyed. What if my legs got bruised rock scrambling and the next day I got called in for an audition where I had to wear a bikini? What if the audition of a lifetime came up while I was on a much-needed vacation? What if, what if, what if? </p>
<p>Luckily for me, I always had enough self-awareness to know when I needed help. And I also knew that I needed a life that was bigger than the industry. But what happens if you aren't that self-aware? And when the only world you have been living in is one built in Hollywood? </p>
<p>Enter: GILF. </p>
<p>An ingenue is taken off guard when she books the role of her life only to discover that she is the "sexy grandma". To do research, she joins a support group called GILF "Grandmas in Loving Fellowship" under false pretenses. </p>
<p>The Exploration </p>
<p>How does how we are seen influence how we see ourselves? How does that influence how a young woman sees herself and the world? How does that influence the middle-aged woman that she becomes? How does it affect her when the natural aging process takes away the things that make a woman an attractive and valuable commodity? </p>
<p>Themes to explore: </p>
<p>Aging from a woman's perspective <br>How growing up in the entertainment industry affects our perception of ourselves and the world <br>Not feeling like your enough and looking outside for something to fill up the hole <br>Moving into menopause <br>What is family? <br>Community and connection vs. isolation and dissonance <br>Female friendships <br>Personal integrity </p>
<p>Exploration tools </p>
<p>It's time to be honest and to stop avoiding the hard conversations, but that doesn't mean we can't explore them gently, with humor, and through an artful lens. Although I want to keep the production simple, I also want it to be artistically sound. </p>
<p>Much of the storyline will be drawn from my own experience and the experiences of other actresses and women that I know. <br>My initial visual concept is to create a very restrictive, isolated world. As our heroine's comfort within the GILF group increases, the frame will be less and less restrictive allowing in other perspectives and giving us all more space to breathe. <br>The production design will follow suit moving from an empty, static world to a lusher, more vibrant world by the end. <br>There will be a robust sound design/music component. <br>The GILF support group ensemble will start with characters who look like age/gender/race stereotypes, but these will quickly break down into whole, vulnerable humans. <br>The ensemble scenes lend themselves to having fun with a variety of movie tropes that can be turned on their ear. </p>
<p>GILF History </p>
<p>The GILF muse came for a visit about six months ago. I was texting with my friend and co-producer, Jenny Maguire. She had just finished an audition for her first "sexy grandma" role. We both laughed at the thought that we were now "grandma" material even though we are only in our late 40's. It was remarkable that she had been thrust from sexy ingenue to grandma in such a short time. We were laughing about what a sexy grandma is and how she had dressed for the audition. The term "GILF" came to mind. Within minutes I came up with the whole idea for the storyline and the acronym, "Grandmas In Loving Fellowship," for the 12-step recovery group. It became clear very quickly that this idea had teeth and that it could be commercially accessible but still retain its integrity. At that point, I started asking around for stories from "women of a certain age" to begin getting a sense of what kind of quirky but true stories could be included within the micro-world of the GILF ensemble. </p>
<p>My process is usually such that if I can get some dedicated time all in one lump I can quickly crank out a whole screenplay, which can then be finessed and nuanced- or completely overhauled- as we move along through the process. Although GILF has been rolling around in my mind for months, I have only been able to sketch out bits and pieces. I have had little time and space to realize the whole screenplay. </p>
<p>Which brings us to: how the funds will be used. </p>
<p>$4000 to the writer, me. I would go into more detail here, but the fact that you created this grant tells me that you already know why I need it. </p>
<p>So there you go folks! Very exciting! The grant makers will decide at the end of this month who will receive the four grants. I am sure that hundreds of people have applied but my fingers are still crossed. And you know me, I already have a plan b up my sleeve;) </p>
<p>Be well! </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64037902020-07-30T15:30:00-05:002020-08-06T15:38:24-05:00The Grant Writing Process Part 4: Video Samples! <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Okay, here we go! Part 4 of our in-depth look into what it takes to apply for a grant in the arts! If you're new to the series, I have been sharing the materials from my own grant submission to the Austin Film Society's $5000 Development grant which is currently under consideration. </p>
<p>This week we're covering: </p>
<p>Video Samples (Required, submit links in application) <br>You may submit up to 5 links of past work </p>
<p>Video Samples are super important, particularly for this grant. They are looking for someone with a proven body of work and this is where they will decide if I have one. </p>
<p>After considering it, I decided that I would include a little bit of everything that I have made as a filmmaker: a short film, a music video, a 6-episode web series, and a feature film. </p>
<p>They also require descriptions of each- which I will not include here:) </p>
<p>If you want to check them out here are the links: </p>
<p><a contents='2 back-to-back episodes of "Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley"&nbsp;' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://vimeo.com/426008878" target="_blank">2 back-to-back episodes of "Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley" </a><br><a contents='2 back-to-back episodes of "Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley"&nbsp;' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://vimeo.com/426015129" target="_blank">2 back-to-back episodes of "Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley" </a><br><a contents='"Icarus" Music Video&nbsp;' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3KcmqXbdDE&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">"Icarus" Music Video </a><br><a contents='"The Safety of Others" ,short film&nbsp;' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://vimeo.com/425717767" target="_blank">"The Safety of Others" ,short film </a><br><a contents="STUCK, feature film&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086H3YL5S/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=stuck+jenni+tooley&qid=1596745606&sr=8-1" target="_blank">STUCK, feature film </a></p>
<p>Because these are all private links with special names created just for AFS, it's pretty easy to keep track of the analytics on how many views they have. </p>
<p>The LEV, Vicki Meek episodes of SCJT has been viewed 12 times and loved once. <br>The other SCJT episode hasn't been viewed at all. <br>Icarus has been viewed about 20 times. <br>Safety of Others twice. <br>And STUCK 12 times with 2 hearts. STUCK is also available on Prime so they could also be watching it there. </p>
<p>Why is this important to me? It tells me that people are watching. It tells me what they are watching. And all of that tells me which I should use as work samples next time and which I should reconsider. </p>
<p>So there you have it! If you have any questions or need help working through a grant app of our own let me know:) </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64037912020-07-23T15:20:00-05:002020-08-06T15:39:07-05:00The Grant Writing Process/Part 3: CURRICULUM VITAE OR FILMOGRAPHY <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Alright-- here's installment #3 of the AFS grant writing process! </p>
<p>This portion covers CURRICULUM VITAE OR FILMOGRAPHY. That's pretty straightforward-- it's basically my filmmaking resume. My filmmaking resume may not be as beefy as some of the other applicants so I also included my acting resume. My reasoning was that even though it's not filmmaking, it does prove that I have been in the business for a very long time and worked on some pretty high profile projects. </p>
<p>If you want to take a look, you can check it out below. Next week, I'll share links to the videos I chose to use as work samples. Stay well! </p>
<p>Jenni</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/d0138f30e5249a7ad4bc2628fef90cd604fed1d0/original/gilf-tooley-filmography.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/9c8397f4814fbe6bb4f4c65aa74b41bfa8846f9d/original/gilf-tooley-filmography-2.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/bb5daf56c4050b2ad426ed092112bf6fde63a707/original/gilf-tooley-filmography-3.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64037922020-07-16T15:20:00-05:002020-08-06T15:35:38-05:00The Grant Writing Process/Part 2: Additional Supporting Materials <p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Everyone! </p>
<p>As promised, here's another inside look into my submission for the AFS Development Grant. I'm going a little out of order because I am not quite ready to announce the project yet so this time we're looking at Additional Supporting Materials. </p>
<p>According to this particular grant, a pdf of 5 pages or less of Additional Materials is optional. Optional always means "do it" to me-- unless I don't have the materials in hand or they won't be additive. </p>
<p>For instance, on this grant application a treatment was optional. I don't have a treatment for the proposed project and I felt overwhelmed by the idea of writing up a traditional one because I didn't have the headspace (this application was due the first week of June-- COVID and riots were happening;). I preferred to keep the grantors excited about the project via the project description (which I will share soon) rather than possibly blow it with a poorly constructed treatment. </p>
<p>Back to the Additional Support Materials. </p>
<p><strong>SUPPORTING MATERIALS</strong> </p>
<p>In digital format articles, images, or other relevant materials that <br>show your project in a favorable light. </p>
<p>Now, my project is in total seed stage so there wasn't anything to include here about it-- but I could use the recent success of STUCK as a launch pad. That would tie in well with the part of the Artist's Statement the is about why this is the right time for the next project and it would also support me as a filmmaker with a body of work, which is crucial to the grantor. </p>
<p>It was interesting to put the supporting materials together-- I forget what I have accomplished and sometimes need a reminder:) I have included all 5 pages. The links won't work because these are jpgs- if you are interested in being able to click through to some of the podcasts etc I am glad to supply those for you-- just ask! </p>
<p>Stay tuned for more....</p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/217f9df64710a3dd9327ab277da3d2ea533cf725/original/gilf-tooley-additional-support-materials-3.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b94c9e03fd6a577ace49a11f0d5a5e104299b094/original/gilf-tooley-additional-support-materials-2.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/454dd99271d2a3f8108e678d5229a6c8944e212d/original/gilf-tooley-additional-support-materials-3.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/6eb5e2bce48e62787b9c8aef53512a3c82378c74/original/gilf-tooley-additional-support-materials-5.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/64037932020-07-09T15:10:00-05:002020-08-06T15:35:38-05:00The Grant Writing Process/Part 1: The Artist's Statement <p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I thought it would be interesting to some, and even helpful to others, to ge an inside look at an application to the Austin Film Society's Development Grant. In this 5-part series I'll explain all of the requirements to you-- as well as share the materials I submitted. Here we go!</p>
<p>The application was for a $5000 development grant. They are looking for artists who have a body of work— I, of course, asked them exactly what that meant…they didn’t have a specific metric for that but two pieces of work was enough. I asked this because they are only offering four grants and I know that 100's of people will apply so I wanted to make sure that my body of work would be enough to capture their attention. </p>
<p>In addition to proof of residency and links to our work we were asked for an Artist’s Statement, Project Description, Letters of Support (optional) and supporting materials. </p>
<p>Today I will share with you the Artist’s Statement. It took me at least two hours to write this one. Why? Check out what they asked for and you may get an idea: </p>
<p>Approximately 1 page of background describing yourself as a filmmaker, the principles driving your artistic inquiry, what you are coming from and where you are headed creatively, and where this project fits into your artistic and/or career path. This should help the committee understand why this project is the next best step for you. </p>
<p>That's a lot of info for one page! In fact I had mistakenly thought this was a two-page document when I wrote up the first draft. I had been so happy with my two pages! Then discovered I had to decrease it by half- eek! But this was a great exercise because it forced me to think through the “who I am, where I am, where I am going and why I am going there” and be really concise in expressing it. That gives me a really solid place from which to launch. I can also use this statement as a measuring stick when I need to narrow down ideas. I have alot of them and it's difficult to decide which ones I should develop and which ones I should drop so now I can hold them up to this statement and see if they align or not. If they don't I have permission to let them swim away until another day. </p>
<p>I decided to write the statement from a place of truth and be a bit more casual than some grant writers might encourage. I think that makes some of it stronger and this is one of the only ways that they will get to hear my voice which is an essential part of my work. Here is what I wrote: </p>
<p><em>Jenni Tooley Artist’s Statement </em></p>
<p><em>Who is Jenni Tooley? In the third person… <br>Jenni is perhaps best known for her work as Annie, Ethan Hawke's second wife, in Richard Linklater's award-winning Boyhood. Additional film and television credits include The Night Shift, Walker Texas Ranger, Wishbone, Arlington Road, and Wes Anderson's first feature, Bottle Rocket. In 2007, she stepped behind the camera and wrote, directed, produced, and edited a short film called The Safety of Others. The film premiered at South By Southwest, toured 12 cities in the US, Canada, and Great Britain, and won WorldFest Houston's "Best Comedy Short." Jenni's first feature as a filmmaker, STUCK, is a fiercely independent female-driven art film that took 20 years to come to fruition. Jenni served as screenwriter, producer, director, and editor and has a lead role in the film. STUCK' s $50,000 budget was funded through crowd-funding campaigns and grassroots efforts. Two hundred fifty backers, cast, and crew supported the production with their time, talent, and resources. It premiered at the 2019 Women Texas Film Festival and has been distributed on Prime Direct and Vimeo VOD. </em></p>
<p><em>Who is Jenni Tooley? In the first person… <br>I am a storyteller. I love manifesting the intangible. Even if we don't understand the result intellectually, we may understand it emotionally or physically. My favorite films affect the viewer on a visceral level. I love film as a medium because it encompasses so many of our senses. I want people to walk away from my work having had an experience. Even better is when an audience member also walks away with a deeper understanding of themselves or the world. </em></p>
<p><em>My goal is this: make the films I want to make in the best way that I can with each film increasing in quality. I want to make these films with people I love to collaborate with, people who respect each other and the process. I want my work to be well-produced stories about women (and men) that ring true and are life-affirming but still edgy. I want to collaborate with, hire, and mentor as many other women as I can along the way. I will continue to use inclusivity and transparency to build my community and to get my movies made. </em></p>
<p><em>Why work on the second project now? <br>I want to strike while the iron is still hot. I plan to leverage the community and audience that I have already built around STUCK to make the second film. What I learned on STUCK regarding my strengths and weaknesses is still fresh in my mind and will be used to make the second feature better than the first. </em></p>
<p><em>Where does this film fit into my career path? <br>I started my feature career with the hardest script first. Now it's time to backpedal and produce a more manageable and commercially accessible project. I have two scripts already in the hopper. Like STUCK, they are massive undertakings. I am not in a position to ramp up so quickly. **** is a more manageable film that will allow me to further develop my skills, continue to build my audience/backer base, and produce a higher quality, more accessible calling card to use as proof of "the Jenni Tooley" brand- which will lead to higher budget productions. I also need to get over the second film hump- I sat on a panel where two notable indie producers talked about how the second film is harder to make than the first. I want to prove them wrong. </em></p>
<p><em>Why AFS's support is crucial <br>I admit it. I'm exhausted. Making a film the way I did required massive amounts of time, energy, and tenacity. I also relied heavily on the support of my backers and team, who came close to burning out. This time around, I want to change that— that is why I am asking for financial assistance. </em></p>
<p><em>After so many years of juggling so many administrative and producer-based tasks, I need a protected creative space where my mind can freely wander without distraction. $5000 would create a 2-month bubble in which I could work on writing and dreaming ****. </em></p>
<p><em>Not only would $5000 go a long way to decreasing financial stress, but receiving an AFS Grant would make raising production and post-production funds a lot easier. And it would get my community pumped up about the next feature! </em></p>
<p><em>Thank you for your consideration. </em></p>
<p>So there you have it! The Artist's Statement! I will share more pieces of the application with you over the next few weeks:) </p>
<p>Much love to you all- </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/63582432020-06-18T16:55:37-05:002020-06-18T17:30:23-05:00Sharing the light:)<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/d8ba03964ef2e9957dad86644498bffdaac47760/original/img-1686-2.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Hello lovely patrons! </p>
<p>It's a beautiful (hot) day here in Texas! I'm doing my best to find the light in what looks like a very dark world right now. I've come to understand my place in things, at least for the time being, is to support those who are closer to the frontlines of the issues that we're working through rather than jumping to the frontlines myself. In doing that I have found it incredibly important to take very good care of myself so that I have something to offer when I am contacted by someone who is running up against something very heavy. </p>
<p>I thought I'd share some of the light I have found with you, just in case you needed it today. </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/af99e1198f2174eb8ab552bb2ceafb986a238081/original/img-1677.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>We've had a lot of rain which means that everything is lush-- lots of beautiful wildflowers and grasses are in full throttle. I've spotted several hummingbirds, a multitude of butterflies and a few deer while hiking. In my home I've spotted these two beasts: </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/e1833c2fb90db89e46e5154cc6aa883f6c6784b1/original/img-1704.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>The grand lion, Sunny. You'd never guess that this guy is disabled. He teaches me every day that I need to let go and let things be just like they are. </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/1fedadcb9f365cfbf502a317dc88334afb4f1eb8/original/img-1702.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>The ever-curious, Toast. Sunny's womb-sibling is more dextrous than her brother but still a wobbly cat. She loves to chase the ever-present bugs that sneak into the house (I live in Austin;) She is very patient with her brother who doesn't have very good navigational skills and is likely to run smack dab into her. And she knows how to nap! </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/c095416d6671678fddfe32834b7a55a64f1c2908/original/reel-owl.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I had a fantastic opportunity last week to judge the Reel Owl Festival. You may remember that I spoke to the film students at Garland High School last year-- well this year I got to view their work. It was awesome! It took me about four hours to view and judge their online submissions. I had a hard time deciding how to vote-- which gave me more compassion for the people on the other side of the festival/grant table. I was very impressed with how some of them turned what could have been a hurdle (COVID stay at home) into a powerful resource. I'm very impressed with this Title 1 school and all the great work they are doing. </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/89084203043a02a4b8c06de5f60665584d1220e8/original/unknown.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I also appreciate Austin Film Society's thoughtful response to COVID- for the first time ever they are offering 4 development grants. It's $5000 that can be used towards anything you want as long as you present them with a completed script in a year. They highly recommended that when telling them what we are going to use the money for, we said "to pay myself". The application was simple but it really took alot out of me to get it together. Whether or not I receive the grant, it was great to go through the application process because it forced me to be very clear about where I am in my filmmaker's journey, where I am going, and how this next film will get me there. It also forced me to think through the next film. As soon as I get some more gusto back, I will share some pieces of the application with you. </p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a7643518f097f2c7e1d13da2f8d3448477d289bd/original/patreon-navy.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>THANK YOU!!! <br>I'd also like to thank Laura M for increasing her <a contents="Patreon pledge " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.patreon.com/jennitooley" target="_blank">Patreon pledge </a>this month! What a great gift! I love that Patreon doesn't lock you in to specific pledge amounts- you can choose any odd number that you like. </p>
<p>I appreciate each of you for supporting my work. You all rock!!! </p>
<p>Sending love and light:) </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/63002512020-04-30T15:00:42-05:002020-04-30T15:15:23-05:00LIVESTREAM SATURDAY! <p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b72d32223a35e33d2f7b44980bc3e7677a7472d3/original/q-a-w-filmmaker-jenni-tooley.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I'm going live at 2pm(CST) on Saturday to answer all of your STUCK-related questions! It's the kind of movie that sparks all kinds of conversations, so let's chat. And even if you don't have questions- pop by to say hi! Jenny Maguire will be making an appearance...as may some other surprise guests! </p>
<p>You can find the stream on my FB profile or the STUCK page or you can use this link: rtmps://live-api-s.facebook.com:443/rtmp/</p>
<p>See you soon!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62805832020-04-12T19:21:38-05:002020-04-12T20:00:54-05:00STUCK is on Prime!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b17bc50640c6d8bc8d10f0e8146fecf857da6b3d/original/1.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>After 20 years in the making... STUCK is now available on Prime Direct!</p>
<p>It's been an amazing journey, and it's not over yet! In order to get this micro-budget feature film in front of audiences we need grass-roots support.</p>
<p>Want to help out? Here are 5 actions that you can take to boost our Customer Engagement Ranking on Prime:</p>
<p>1)This is a quickie: Go to our <a contents="IMDB page" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5623936" target="_blank">IMDB page</a> and leave a starred user rating. (<a contents="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5623936" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5623936" target="_blank">https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5623936</a>) </p>
<p>2)Have a little more time? While you're there, click through and leave a review. </p>
<p>3) Watch, rent or purchase STUCK here: <a contents="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086H3X7T8&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086H3X7T8" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086H3X7T8 </a>Even if you have already watched the film, hit play, walk away and let it stream all the way to the end. </p>
<p>4) Leave a starred review on Prime. </p>
<p>5) Share with your friends and ask them to do the same!</p>
<p>You rock! No really- without people like you we would never have been able to make this film happen.</p>
<p>Thank you:)</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62611232020-03-24T22:04:16-05:002020-03-25T00:15:39-05:00Well, this is interesting<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/2ab513637cc4d18f71ee8800fec989507e46d191/original/hmmmmm-2.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I never expected to say this, but thank god for all those decades of therapy, 12-step recovery meetings, yoga studies, and personal growth classes! If it weren’t for those, I’d be a huge mess right now. Instead I have been able to approach the current situation from a place of faith and curiosity. </p>
<p>It’s been one thing after another for the last few years so I’m pretty well-tempered in the resilience and adaptation department. And I’m an introvert so having minimal interaction with groups isn’t too much of an issue. </p>
<p>But I definitely have to be compassionate with myself and others right now. I have to take time to respect my feelings as well as those of others without getting spun out by them. I have to check in and see what’s PTSD from past unhealed trauma and clear that out so that I can sit with and respond to reality. And I have to give myself permission to be imperfect and to muddle through this imperfectly. </p>
<p>I was reminded today that staying centered isn’t a stationary concept. Just as our bodies sway back and forth to find balance (stand with your feet under you, close your eyes and see what happens), I am going to sway off my center but with the right tools and mindset I can return to it. It’s the return that’s important. </p>
<p>I am curious to know how the end of this particular world is bringing me back to center. And even more curious as to whether or not it may realign all of us as a culture. </p>
<p>So as I sat in acceptance over losing half my income at the end of the month from a job that it took me forever to get I thought…”well, that sucks. I wonder what more interesting and more fulfilling thing will appear to take its place?” If I can stay in faith I think it could be pretty cool. </p>
<p>Many thanks for your support! Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to support you- and if there is anything you would like to see as far as content or offerings. </p>
<p>Much love to you and your families! </p>
<p>PS: I did get to start on a new script a few days ago…yay!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62506392020-03-15T19:09:31-05:002020-03-15T21:45:32-05:00In this 5 minutes you are safe...<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/4ab60bbaead80092977f1d527af814d93dec820a/original/you-are-safe.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I know that there is a lot of fear out there right now and it's easy to get caught up in it. I've been doing my best to sort through what is real and here in my present moment and what is F.uture E.vents. Appearing. R.eal-- or even someone else's events seeming like they are happening in my time/space reality. </p>
<p>Last night I picked up my phone and recorded a guided deep relaxation. The relaxation is based on an experience I had years ago when I was nearly paralyzed with anxiety. I knew enough then to know that I needed to do life one day at a time but I couldn't even consider being serene for a whole day. So I started with a minute. I turned on the timer and sat it out. One minute. Then I did it again. Another minute. Before I knew it I had felt safe for 15 whole minutes (in one minute increments:)! I just kept going until I had enough proof to believe that I was okay. I haven't felt that much anxiety in that whopping of a dose since then. </p>
<p>So I decided that I would apply that idea and record a deep relaxation based on feeling safe that was only 5 minutes long. We can feel safe for five minutes at a time right? Maybe not alone- but together we can:) </p>
<p>So here it is friends! I hope it helps relieve whatever real or perceived threats that are attacking your nervous system right now. </p>
<p>My little cat Toast is also featured on the recording-- she was hanging out on my chest. Sunny was sound asleep on my feet. </p>
<p>Love ya lots! </p>
<p>Jenni </p>
<p>PS: There is a lead-in, the guided relaxation starts at 2:24. You can also find this on my website for future reference</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62453302020-03-11T11:33:56-05:002020-03-11T11:45:36-05:00This week's mantra: Rejection is Protection<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/2bbfec0293c41e45fc0eac9d0b931deee9b4f0f1/original/rejection-is-protection.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Boy I got a great reminder of this last week. STUCK was not accepted into SXSW which was not a surprise but it was a disappointment. When I found out that SWSX had been cancelled within a week of its start date I though “Whew! We dodged a bullet there!”. </p>
<p>If we had been accepted we would have already raised and spent thousands of unrefundable dollars on promo materials, publicist fees, red carpet clothes, travel expenses, etc etc etc. I would have, of course, found a way to spin the whole thing into some publicity and worked it into something useful, but it still would have been pretty darn disappointing and expensive. </p>
<p>So there it is- - a great example of rejection is protection. Any time I start feeling rejected, victim- y or down, I think maybe there’s a higher reason for this. I mean why not? No reason to feel poopy if you don’t have to! </p>
<p>Lots of hugs! </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62316092020-02-28T11:41:12-06:002020-02-28T15:02:43-06:00Welcome to my inner geek<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/2ac45bb9e0c09a07e0570fc0906f201ca8bcf19c/original/screen-shot-2020-02-28-at-11-23-45-am.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I am working on prepping <a contents="STUCK " data-link-label="STUCK" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/stuck" target="_blank">STUCK </a>for distribution on Prime Direct. Amazon has specific requirements for films-- including closed captions. We just finished a successful mini-fundraising campaign to cover costs-- and exceeded our goal by nearly 50% thank you very much!!! That means I got to send the film out to get the closed captions created. It was so simple-- I uploaded the video to Rev.com and paid them last night. This morning I got an email saying they were done! Now I need to go through and edit it. </p>
<p>I opened the portal they sent and was shocked-- I took a screenshot of it for you. How cool is that! The portal engine automatically runs everything in realtime so you can see how the captions are going to land on the video and it allows you to edit the text descriptions, sound descriptions, etc. This is important because when they send me the completed file they are going to send me a separate file that is text and timecode only that I won't be able to open because I don't have the software and I will upload that file separately from the movie onto the Amazon portal. </p>
<p>I won't be able to look at the whole thing for accuracy until Tuesday-- so we'll see how I am feeling about it then but for now I am super happy in geekland.</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62183922020-02-17T17:20:00-06:002021-09-20T10:50:40-05:00I am officially a Girl That Creates!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b50ab138b42560924270a38032316b34921d4953/original/gtc-logo-2019-circle-outline.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I am very excited to be in the <a contents="Girls That Create" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.girlsthatcreate.com/2020/02/10/jenni-tooley/" target="_blank">Girls That Create</a> Creator Spotlight! </p>
<p>Erin Prather Stafford and I had a great discussion about life as a female artist. Somehow she successfully narrowed down my personal journey and STUCK's journey into one great article! I am so happy that my work/story can serve others and am grateful to her for sharing it. </p>
<p>If you have a daughter you really need to head over to her site:) Girls That Create exists to inspire girls and women of all ages to hold the paintbrush, pound the keys, learn programming, get in front and behind the camera, stand center stage, tell their stores, and push for leadership positions in the arts (and beyond).</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/62097202020-02-09T20:20:14-06:002020-02-09T20:20:14-06:00This week's mantra...Resistance is futile <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/5c082bbc1c829c145b5cc605e43a94473cbbb389/original/add-a-heading.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I’ve been struggling with this idea: that I am worthy just because I exist. </p>
<p>It seems like I’m supposed to DO something, ACCOMPLISH something, SOMETHING something in order to be worthy. I read a quote that said “let love, life, abundance and spirit fill you without expectation. Just receive the bounty that is yours.” You mean I don’t have to DO anything? FIX anything? Or ANYTHING anything? My controlling nature is freaking out right now! </p>
<p>I keep thinking back to when I was in college— if you knew me then you know that even though I was in college I also had a full life as a working actor. Things just kept falling into place one after the other. I wasn’t worried about money. I wasn’t worried about my career. I’m not even sure I was worried about my grades- in fact, I know I wasn’t because when I was told that I was graduating Summa Cum Laude I was surprised. </p>
<p>It’s not like that today. Somewhere along the way things got gummed up. I made some choices that supported the worry/anxiety parts of my brain and I think some parts of my life got so unmanageable that I felt like I had to control something so my Planner/Controller kicked in. Then she went into overdrive. Then the anxiety went into overdrive. </p>
<p>Today, I’m learning to do a whole lot more of nothing. I’m getting a big dose of humility with my current job situation. And I don’t suffer from the constant anxiety anymore. Thank God for that. But I’m still cloudy on how to get back to that young woman who found the flow and worked it so easefully. As an older woman I want to find that flow again— but this time, instead of working it, I want to just be in it and let it take me wherever we go. It’s a little scary. But the more I resist, the more frustrating life is so why not just let go? As the Borg say: Resistance is futile. I’m going to use that as my mantra to quell the resistance and welcome the flow:) </p>
<p>Some more news is around the bend! Hope you are doing well:) </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/61961962020-01-29T18:36:49-06:002020-01-29T18:36:49-06:00This week's mantra: Keep an open mind<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/31cbbd3668b35f54416e33dc7dd51300c25fc4e7/original/keep-an-open-mind.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Sometimes life doesn’t look like I want it to. My reality doesn’t match up with my desire. Then I run into the question of how hard do I push for change and when is it best to stop pushing and rest in acceptance. Other times I’m restless and dissatisfied because I know that life isn’t how I want it to be, but I can’t hold onto a clear vision of the life I want. It’s pretty hard for the universe to help me out when it doesn’t know what it needs to do for me. And it’s pretty hard to take action steps towards goals when I can’t keep the goal solidly in place. All of that can be pretty frustrating. And it’s easy to judge myself harshly and feel like nothing is ever going to change. The solution? Keep an open mind. </p>
<p>Keeping an open mind allows me to ease up on myself, see opportunities that I might not see if I’m shutting myself down with judgement, and gives the universe room to work. So this week, I am going to back off and keep an open mind! </p>
<p>PS: For those of you who are keeping track and rooting for me, I did not get the role I auditioned for last week but I did have fun at the audition and discovered a very cool co-working space in Austin that has a studio as part of its membership offerings. I am also going to be reaching out soon about some revamps to JTExperience(patreon) and what’s coming soon:) </p>
<p>Hope you are settling nicely into the new year. </p>
<p>Love ya bunches! </p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/61420962020-01-21T23:11:07-06:002020-01-21T23:11:07-06:00This week's mantra is: Tooley it up! <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/cde62552a8a54c7bff6be3128d9a4c058ca177e0/original/tooley-it-up-2.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Tomorrow I have an audition for a very popular franchise TV show-- it's one I would actually watch if I hadn't kicked the violent shows off of my list. The role is a co-starring role. Those come around every so often for me. I haven't booked one yet, but it's nice to be asked to audition. Or at least that's where I try to keep my gratitude at instead of "why don't I ever get booked????". </p>
<p>This show is very secretive and sends out sides (scene selections) that are not actually from the show so it's always interesting to try and put that together. The role is described as a woman whose tough exterior masks her passion. She surprises herself with what she is capable of. The second part is easy for me to connect to but the first part is more difficult. When an audition notice says "tough exterior" they usually mean someone who looks tough or rugged. Over the years I have had to accept that I am not either of those things when Hollywood comes calling. But they did come calling so they must be interested. What does that mean? Well, I finally figured out that when I don't exactly fit a description, rather than try to make myself what I think they want, I need to "Tooley it up" instead. </p>
<p>Tooley it up? That phrase came from my friend Sharon who has taped and coached numerous auditions. She says I have a special quality-- I have a read that's a little different than most people's reads. I think in her context it has to do with how subtle I play things. In this context, though, it describes where I as Jenni Tooley can take something. So if I can't go tough exterior I can go tough interior with a soft and "lotta bit off" exterior. I'm still working it out. The other part of what I have learned is that I cannot be something I am not. So whatever I am tomorrow is what I show up with and I have to trust that. If I'm bloated, I'm bloated. If my energy is strung out, it's strung out. If I'm busting lines, I'm busting lines. It's all good. And it is just as it should be. </p>
<p>More to come! </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/60766572020-01-09T16:23:49-06:002020-01-09T19:45:35-06:00This week's mantra: Kitties eat stuff. And that's okay.<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/50cd5b9b85e46c01583fa83c97f79b0f98f651ac/original/sometimes-kitties-eat-stuff-and-thats-okay.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I have two beautiful kittens that teach me brilliant lessons every day. They are 8 months old so they are the size of adult cats but still very much kittens. One of them loves to eat things-- particularly jersey knit and lace things. We have already been to the vet once because he ate the top inch of a sock-- all the way around. If you look up cats eating things online you will find all kinds of hyper freaky warnings- take your cat to the vet immediately! They will become obstructed! Their intestines might even get diced up! And if you call the vet they will tell you to "come in immediately! Your cat may need surgery!" And if you tell them that your cat ate a sock they will say "did you say you have a dog"? </p>
<p>So I took Sunny to the vet-- scary because I am barely making it paycheck to paycheck and vet visits add up quick. Also scary because I love this little guy so much. It was on a Sunday night-- can you say $$$$? I made a couple of calls to level headed people. My cat threw up twice--which made me decide that we need to go. Well, luckily after a few calls I found a reasonable vet that wasn't too far away that was recommended by my own vet who couldn't see us because "they didn't have time for surgery". I did a lot of breathing and praying and we listened to some music on my phone while we waited. The good news is that both my kittens love to go to the vet so this was not stressful for him. The vet that our little string of miracles took us to was totally like-- "I don't feel anything in his gut. We can do some x-rays to double-check." Thanks to some $ help from my mom and dad we did some x-rays. Nothing there. The vet told me the worst possible thing that could happen-- just so that we were clear. But basically it was "take him home and keep an eye on him". Well, he was fine.</p>
<p>Until the day after Christmas. When I got home from 3-day visit with my parents my kittens were elated. Sunny so much that he decided to eat a 3 inch hole in my sheets. That's alot of fabric. Then as we were sitting on the couch I turned around to discover that he had stealthily and quickly eaten a one inch chunk of my jersey knit shirt. Panic time! Or is it? I talked with a couple of friends. And then I decided to wait it out and see what happened. My gut said-- this is not a problem. Cats eat all kinds of things. My friend's dog chugged down some broken pyrex once. Maybe we don't have to get into a tizzy. But then the fear-based question arises "But what if I am wrong?" Well, sometimes we are and sometimes we're not. I decided to trust my gut. And guess what? He was fine! </p>
<p>Kitties eat stuff and most of the time that's okay. This applies to so much of life. I can't prevent everything. Not everything that looks like a problem or crisis is one. And most of the time things really don't need me to work themselves out. In fact, sometimes my interventions can make things worse. And times I waste my precious resources on things that I didn't need to because I bought into the fear rather than the knowing.</p>
<p>So there you have it! And here's a pic of Toast-- she was a great help the day that the A/C was leaking from the ceiling:)</p>
<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/ebb441bb1e4fe404e9a7a57b122de109eae635ea/original/fxodo-omstuvv6pxobetea.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/60377302019-12-20T22:10:42-06:002019-12-20T23:45:37-06:00Holiday Mantra: Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/43b9dafff4ceb00868e715b9ea862b30d2256788/original/let-it-go-let-it-go-let-it-go.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Sung to the tune of the ever-present Christmas carol: “Let It Snow”. </p>
<p>I've been sorting through a lot of stuff this holiday season. Some of it is present-day stuff, some past stuff, some present-day stuff brought on by past stuff. Some if financial stuff. Some is about humility. Some is about change. Without going into too many details let's just say there's alot of stuff coming up and hanging around. I'm sure it's that way for alot of people during the holiday season but I think I notice it more because I have chosen not to mask it with all of the holiday busy-ness. </p>
<p>Resentments. Let them go. </p>
<p>Expectations. Let them go. </p>
<p>Sadness. Let it go. </p>
<p>Grief. Let it go. </p>
<p>Controlling Everything. Let it go. </p>
<p>Busy-ness. Let it go. </p>
<p>Urgency. Let it go. </p>
<p>PTSD. Let it go. </p>
<p>Fear. Let it go. </p>
<p>Resisting ___________. Let it go. </p>
<p>Huh. Well then, where does that leave me? If my identity isn't caught up in all those things then who am I and how do I judge where I am in life? Now I have choices. I get to choose what I want to put my energy towards and how I want to spend my time. That can be pretty scary though-- that's why I've been holding onto all that other crap! </p>
<p>So I think I'll look to the light...follow the love... and make some solid choices that build me up instead of tear me apart. That its bound to help everyone else too:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/60006492019-12-09T20:49:36-06:002019-12-09T20:49:36-06:00This week's mantra: Love yourself first <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/35f57d42aaddf434a9d840e91c534a847a2f6a24/original/love-yourself-first.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Love yourself first. Yep. We're back to this one. Life is crazy for almost everyone I talk to right now. The holidays for so many are like life on steroids. It's also the start of flu season. Ick! I got hit with a little bit of it last week and even though I had a lot of commitments and was in the process of lining up two new jobs I knew that I had to do some extreme self care. Now that I am feeling better-- and the new jobs are starting and the transition is happening (eek! transitions!) I know I better keep up the extreme self care even though I want to put it on the back burner. But putting everything and everyone else in front of my physical and mental health is not the answer-- I have to take care of myself first. If I don't, I can't show up full force to everything else. And eventually not only will I get sick... I will get SICK, like chronic sick. So, this week...love myself first. </p>
<p>But that doesn't mean I'm not sending out alot of love to you all too:) </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59910642019-12-03T21:50:00-06:002019-12-03T23:30:23-06:00A little continuing ed for indie filmmakers...<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/e41f842cef9d0d8eaf3cd0209fe97d3cb551f983/original/lets-talk-fests.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Let's talk about festivals. </p>
<p>I have been re-navigating the festival world after a ten year hiatus and have discovered it is a very different beast. </p>
<p>Here's the short version what I have learned: </p>
<p>1)If you don't know someone or know someone who knows someone at the fest there's a good chance that you are throwing your money down the drain. </p>
<p>2) Keep an eye out for scams. Unfortunately people are scamming indie filmmakers. If it doesn't sound legit or you can't find reviews maybe hold off. </p>
<p>3)Pay for the ones you are really interested in then ask for waivers from the rest. If they are interested they will respond. </p>
<p>4) Really do your research on the fests. Know your film's selling points and who your demographic is-- align those with the festivals you choose. </p>
<p>5) Be prepared to find another way to exhibit your film. When I did this back in 2007 we booked 12 fests out of 48-- this time around 1 out of 22 so far. Lots of rejection letters-- not even letters. Most of the time I just notice that the deadline has passed and we aren't showing. Don't take it personally:). </p>
<p>6)You can hire a consultant to help you with your strategy-- I met one at Women Texas Film Festival. I didn't feel the cost/benefit of her fee was worth it for our specific situation.</p>
<p>Navigating the festival scene can be overwhelming. If you need help sorting through it all, let me know! </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59901342019-12-03T11:30:58-06:002019-12-03T11:30:58-06:00This week's mantra: One Day at a Time<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/98d3523746d102a2e1e88f3a6fe866e41168a1ad/original/one-day-at-a-time.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I used to watch this show growing up— who knew that the slogan would actually be one that I had to learn to use as an adult. (And, btw, the new version of One Day at a Time that was on TV was a travesty in my opinion;). So what does this mantra mean to me? Well, it means I don’t have to do tomorrow today. I don’t have to do next month today. The only thing that I am concerned with today is what needs to be done today. And what needs to be done today is usually not very much. And if it is more that what I can do in one day I better shooters that list! IT also means that I don’t have to worry. Bill due next week that I don’t have the money for? No problem. That’s next week. What’s happening today? Well, today all the bills are paid, the food is in the fridge, the car is running well and the sun is shining. Aha! Sounds like a good day to take a walk, call a friend, fulfill today’s responsibilities, and get a good nights’s sleep. </p>
<p>So if you’re feeling overwhelmed with the holidays, and the family stuff, and the money stuff, and the job stuff, and the stuff stuff I would invite you to take it One Day at a Time and be very clear on what today has in store.</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59674792019-11-20T15:06:18-06:002019-11-20T17:45:53-06:00The only person who is going to protect your work is you<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/c17807805618e53f58c59c45e054481f755d7745/original/img-0758.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Last week I was tagged on someone else’s post. Another filmmaker was asking for help. She had finished her first short, only to have it absconded with by someone who had posted it up on YouTube without her permission. <strong>Ouch! </strong></p>
<p>People don't seem to get the concept of intellectual property anymore. They don't get that it’s not okay to take your stuff and post it up on youtube without your permission. Who knows what their intentions were— the people who posted it may have thought that they were helping her out somehow. But even if a whole lot of people liked the video and made positive comments about the film, having your film publicly posted can kill your chances of getting into festivals or getting distributors. </p>
<p>Your film is your greatest asset. Always protect your work-- if you have a screener online make sure all the permissions are marked private, no download, no embed, etc. Don’t upload it to social media. Period. At least not until you are done with your festival screenings and are done with your distribution plans. Even then, check your contracts. And don’t send a copy to anyone that you don’t trust to keep it to themselves. </p>
<p>There are alot of ways to distribute a film nowadays— <strong>but you get to decide how you want to do that.</strong> Not someone else. If you want to post on Youtube, great! But that’s your decision. I’m really sorry that someone else made that decision for her.</p>
<p>If you have any questions or need an indie film consultation, I am glad to help!</p>
<p>Jenni</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59495422019-11-04T17:44:24-06:002019-11-04T18:01:38-06:00This week's mantra: Leave the cake in the oven til it's done!!!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/13247afca2ed19d5f6192f7cb6eab58181c89201/original/goofy-silvertone.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Last week I traded a massage/energy session for two Apple Bundt Cakes w/Brown Sugar Icing. My massage therapist and I were talking about life being messy-- I'm not a fan. She suggested that I hang out in the nebula-- just stay all loose in the nebula and eventually everything will coalesce. I asked her for a little more on that... she redirected to baking. I could get hold of that because I had just baked her two cakes. There is a mess of ingredients, you blend them together, then you put them in the oven to bake. Oh yeah! Right! Messy turns into yummy! Then I remembered that I had to keep checking these particular cakes because they take forever to bake- and you don't want to dry them out- but you absolutely cannot take them out early or they will be gooey inside. Leave the cake in the oven until it's done Jenni! </p>
<p>Well, that's what's going on in my life right now. Lot's of transitions on my inside and my outside seemingly taking forever to catch up. Doesn't the universe know I am in a hurry??? That I have things to do??? That I have bills to pay??? </p>
<p>Over the last year I have been doing alot of experiments. I started the podcast. I am transitioning my patrons from Patreon to my own website (JTEXperience). I've finished a feature film and am navigating the distribution process. I've put alot of effort into starting my own creative out-of-the-box business. And I am working on my next creative project. Last week I realized I need to simplify (did I mention that I also work two part time jobs?). And I really wanted to give up on all that "marketing stuff". But then I remembered that you never know who is listening or who is watching and you never know when they are going to show up with funding for the next project or wanting to schedule a coaching session, or ...well maybe even something you didn't even have in mind. Leave the cake in the oven Jenni!!! </p>
<p>But I do need to narrow things down a bit and revise for next year. I consider you a stakeholder in my out-of-the-box creative business And I could use your help. If you could take a 3-5 minutes to fill a survey about how you interact with my work and what you'd like to see I would appreciate it! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BRGCGD5</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59469352019-11-01T15:12:43-05:002019-11-01T17:15:44-05:00That little thing rattling around...<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/b2d020c70867e9ec07c12a9d0113d03c41addcc1/original/interlude-1.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I have been working on a top secret project. It was born because I was bored and frustrated. I am in the process of basically selling STUCK which is not a lot of fun for me. And I am working on the second feature film-- this time creating something that is "fully strategized" from the get-go. That means I'm doing alot of research: market comparisons, budget forecasting, side income generation, blah blah blah...before I even sit down and write the script. It's alot of work. And I'm really tired of having to raise money and resources to make something. So, I said to myself, "how about we make something with what we have just for fun?" </p>
<p>I thought the first stop would be picking up the Canon 7D DSLR I bought for the Smart Cookies shoot and learning how to shoot video with it. But I very quickly realized how much technical stuff I have to learn to really get that going. So I sat down in front of the computer and opened "Garage Band". My mind very quickly said..."oh, no you can't use Garage Band. It's not an industry standard. Very amateurish. You need to buy ProTools". My response was: "I ain't got no money. We're not waiting. We're using Garage Band. And that's that." </p>
<p>So off I went building out "something" on Garage Band. I had no idea what it would be. Well, here it is: Interlude #1. </p>
<p>Now. What do I do with this? I thought it was going to evolve into a music video. But as I was listening to the most recent incarnation it struck me. "Maybe this is VR." VR? Yes-- at Dallas Video Festival I met a guy (who was actually married to a wonderful artist friend I had in HS. Small world.). He's a pretty hot VR director right now. I never thought I would be into VR because to me it is a very isolating format. But after I experienced a few pieces of work that they had going on at the fest I was sold. This could be a very cool medium. And this soundscape would be perfect for that. And he told me he has gear sitting around wanting to be used.... </p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>It could be a part of a stage piece or some kind of weird performance art experience... </p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>It could stand alone... </p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>It could live as part of a video... </p>
<p>The options are endless. Whatever it is it will definitely be a JTExperience. </p>
<p>I am sharing it with JTExperience Members-- I don't usually share something so early but I want Experience members to be included in my creative process:). AND I want their opinions. I'd love to hear yours too. You can join us in the <a contents="Voice &amp; Vote/Private Screening Room!" data-link-label="Voice and Vote! Private Screening Room" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/voice-and-vote-private-screening-room" target="_blank">Voice & Vote/Private Screening Room!</a></p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59352382019-10-22T14:29:07-05:002019-10-22T14:29:08-05:00This week's mantra...and challenge is: state your fees. <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a941dfe5fc188b25fde6b6357a79f92932077ff6/original/state-you-fees.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />One of the challenges I have come up against is "asking for money" for my work and services. I recently read a fantastic post that helped me with this. A doctor wrote it- and it was about just this thing. She basically said "never ask for money. State your fees." </p>
<p>Those if us who are closely tied to our work or "are our work" feel as if they have to ask for money. But we are just like a doctor or a lawyer who charges a fee for their service. </p>
<p>You are valuable and worthy. Your work is valuable and worthy. You don't have to ask for money-- just set your fee and state it. </p>
<p>This has also been important for me-- set an AWESOME fee-- and ask for it first. Yes, some projects are passion projects but if you don't ask for your AWESOME fee upfront then when will anyone ever get an opportunity to say yes? You might be surprised what happens when you ask. Even on projects I thought would say no-- somehow they came up with money they didn't have before to meet me somewhere reasonable. I think I'll share about one of those times on my podcast this week:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59263972019-10-14T16:41:22-05:002019-10-14T16:41:22-05:00This week's mantra: I am more than my content. <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/1e6aa444a9d7b0214441325fa6e4967dd09fd62c/original/i-am-more-than-my-content.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Wow. Yesterday I wrote a FB post asking for suggestions for mantras. It went something like this: </p>
<p>Any suggestions for this week's mantra? My mind is a blank. That could be good-- or it could be bad-- depending on how you read it:) </p>
<p>I received alot of great responses-- too many, in fact to list here right now. But the one that stuck out for me was from Jeremy L: </p>
<p>Tabula Rasa. Blank is good. You’re more than your content. Just be you, accept the blank. Your mind being blank doesn’t have to mean it’s a call for you to “perform” and fill that space. It’s a call to “be.” It’s so much easier to lift an empty box... Jenni Tooley </p>
<p>How did he know I had been struggling with this very thing? Well, I suppose I'm not very obtuse in my posts:) but still it hit upon a truth. I've been constructing my own membership site over the last month. Slowly shifting my patrons and subscribers to my own website. The thing that has been bothering me is: I don't have enough content. I am not enough. What I do is not enough. Why would anyone pay me a monthly subscription to be part of my deal? </p>
<p>These blocks and fears have been popping up and I keep walking around them, climbing over them, pushing through them and asking g.o.d. to remove them. But it's been stupid hard when they get right in my face. </p>
<p>I also realized that I had been playing small. And I had been holding back. And I wasn't really owning what I was doing. So one night before I went to sleep I had an inspiration. It was a scary one. It was call it the "Jenni Tooley Experience". SERIOUSLY??? But I knew that this was the right thing to do. And I made a banner and posted it all over the site and started emailing people and thinking "this is the most ridiculous thing ever". But it's out there! </p>
<p>And yes, I am more than my content. And so are you my lovelies!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59209082019-10-09T13:02:00-05:002019-10-09T13:02:01-05:00It's already right there in front of you<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a16724cccc58037da0a9848242483cc1ecddecd5/original/img-0892.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_center border_" />Okay. Ive been working on a top secret project. I just haven’t made it public. That’s because it’s something off the cuff. Something small. And something spontaneous. </p>
<p>After spending 4 years on STUCK which required alot of people, money and other resources and folding in a smaller year-long project (Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley) that required alot of money, people and resources I was feeling drained. I’ve also been struggling financially so have been really focused on generating income. I was getting bored. And felt alot of lack. </p>
<p>I needed a boost. Something I could complete easily. Something fun. So I decided to remind myself that I can make stuff any time with what I have. </p>
<p>So I looked around and said “what do I have?” </p>
<p>Equipment: </p>
<p>Canon 7D Camera (no external mic) </p>
<p>A pre-amp and mic </p>
<p>FCX (video editing software) </p>
<p>Garage Band (music creation/editing software) </p>
<p>My body </p>
<p>My brain </p>
<p>Half of these things I don’t necessarily know how to use but, hey, that’s never stopped me! Let’s get started! </p>
<p>Want to follow along on the process or need some help with your own? Join me at www.jennitooley.com. Happy, abundant and creative lives are within our reach!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59208842019-10-07T19:55:52-05:002019-10-09T12:43:11-05:00This Week's Mantra: Follow the Light!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/fef157963941f378efcf1dd93269fc7078eb33a8/original/follow-the-light.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This week's mantra is Follow the Light. </p>
<p>For some reason I learned that I had to follow my mind or follow practicality. But I'll be honest with you, right now that just ain't workin' folks! So this week I am going to follow whatever feels light or has light around it when it pops into my mind. Everything else can wait. I'm telling myself it's only for a week so my Planner doesn't start a committee with my Worrier. They will then invite the Manager and the Taskmaster. And before you know it Analsis Paralysis will be in full swing. </p>
<p>I had a great drive and hike today-- and it really lightened my mood and cleared my head. I was even a bit bubbly:). And I didn't blink an eyelash when the stove and oven died while I was cooking dinner;) </p>
<p>Try it-- you may like it! </p>
<p>Join me in creating a happy, abundant and creative life at www.jennitooley.com</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59149342019-10-03T22:13:54-05:002019-10-03T22:15:23-05:00Ep 12: Have I told you about the time I learned from someone else that I am a singer?<p><br><strong><span style="color:#ff6666;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/254370c35752632a2276f1bfcc62362bd02c5171/original/have-i-told-you-about-the-time.png/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.png" class="size_m justify_center border_" /></span></strong></p>
<p>I’m not a singer. Oh wait… </p>
<p>This one is about the stories we tell ourselves. How they aren’t necessarily reality. And learning to own myself. </p>
<p>A 30 year saga of perfection. Specific definitions. Blocking my own way into rock stardom;) </p>
<p>The saga continues. </p>
<p>You can find the two songs referenced in the podcast at www.jennitooley.com/getyourstuckmerch</p>24:44Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59208852019-10-01T14:57:36-05:002019-10-09T12:43:11-05:00It's begun!<p><img src="https://d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/3d76f389f1c9c91f341944ab1ade424b4efa6cab/original/img-1063.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Hello Everyone! </p>
<p>I have started my own membership site! Why? I’m a Maverick. I keep forgetting that. I do best when I work outside of the box. And I’m learning that people dig that and are inpisred by it. So no more hiding. Let’s put it all out there. And let's ask others to join the tribe! </p>
<p>The decision to start a new membership site on a new platform has been a long time coming. Honestly, it's kind of scared the crap out of me. Are my longtime Patreon patrons going to drop off? Are new members going to join? Am I going to be able to migrate enough of the posts and content over so new members feel like I have enough going on that they will stick around? </p>
<p>Lots of doubts. Lots of fears. And this gnawing at my gut that I just need to keep going with it. So I have! And I will! </p>
<p>I will even launch it before it's completely ready. What??? No really. I'm doing that because the perfectionist in me keeps telling me all the reasons why I can't take other actions-- and those other actions keep leading me back to "the website isn't done". </p>
<p><a contents="So here it is! " data-link-label="Jenni's Journey Members" data-link-type="page" href="https://www.jennitooley.com/jenni-s-journey-members" target="_blank">So here it is! </a> If you're interested in supporting my work and working towards a happy, abundant, and creative life with me let's do it!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117832019-09-29T14:20:00-05:002019-10-01T14:18:38-05:00This week's mantra: Receive <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/3ba10869493f1c93c0eb3a8ce34b2522b22d00a3/original/receive.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>It's that time of month! Bill time. If you live paycheck to paycheck-- or prayer to prayer- like I do you know how contracted and stressed out a person can get at this time of the month. That's why this week's mantra is: Receive! </p>
<p>This week I am going to focus on receiving all the abundance coming to me-- not going to block any of that good old abundance. That way I get good and fed and then can give back! And pay my bills;) </p>
<p>With that in mind I am also going to thank all of you patrons for your generosity and support. Thank you! I am receiving it all right now and I hope that you are getting the good stuff spun right back at ya!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59078282019-09-27T14:48:55-05:002019-09-27T14:48:55-05:00Podcast Ep 10: Have I told you about the time I was cast as The Ponytail Girl in Mark Pellington's Arlington Road?<p>From the Patreon Archives:</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/254370c35752632a2276f1bfcc62362bd02c5171/original/have-i-told-you-about-the-time.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<h3>Ep10: Have I told you about the time I was cast as The Ponytail Girl in Mark Pellington's Arlington Road?</h3>
<p>Never underestimate the power of the cult hit. Never underestimate the power of the bottle cap/seatbelt belt. Never underestimate the power of ease. And never underestimate the power of the ponytail! </p>
<p>What happens when you aren't desperate? You have fun. What happens then? The directors and producers really see you. And then? And then they book you. </p>
<p>This podcast covers how I got booked on Arlington Road and what I learned from Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins, and Mark Pellington during the shoot. It also includes some actor's tips and tricks. Plus a 1990's history lesson! </p>
<p>It's full of all kinds of twists and turns. Whether you are in the industry or not there's something here for you! </p>
<p>And if you haven't seen the movie totally do it! It's on Amazon! </p>
<p>Unedited. Uncensored. Just Jenni.</p>28:02Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59078312019-09-18T14:55:00-05:002019-09-27T14:57:58-05:00Voice and Vote! Stuck at a fork in the road!<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a13f5bcf9ffeb61e0464d726ec0a255ac9ae8d31/original/stuck-088.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>A Fork in the Road: Where to go next with STUCK strategy </p>
<p>I am at a fork in the road with STUCK! </p>
<p>Here's the deal. We submitted to 21 film festivals. We have heard back from 15-- they have all said "no". Austin Revolution did make us a "Finalist" but they did not screen our film. We still have 6 submissions outstanding. The fests that we have played at we have been invited to-- we didn't submit. </p>
<p>I have been talking with some other filmmakers and programmers and my suspicion has been confirmed that many fests have already pre-programmed their selections. Some don't even watch the submissions. And others are just so overwhelmed with submissions that they can't possibly program all of their favorites. We have also been questioning how important a festival run is anymore since there are all kinds of ways to stream movies online now and ways to self distribute.We also have an unusual film on our hands that will require, as one consultant put it, a creative submission strategy. </p><!-- more -->
<p>I met a woman at WTxFF that consults with filmmakers on festival and distribution strategy. She claims to know the festivals and what they want. She basically offers a service where she will watch the film and make a list of 25 festivals that she thinks would be a good fit as well as offer ideas about distribution strategy. For this service she charges $750 (50% off if we buy her $75 audio book). You can find her info at www.thefilmfestivaldoctor.com. I don't know of anyone who has used her but I can say that she was at WTxFF repping a short film (don't know how much that cost them:). She has seen our film and is willing to help out- for her fee. If we took this path we would need to raise $2000 to cover her fee and fest submission fees. I would need to have enough people pledge money up front to choose this particular path. </p>
<p>Another suggestion was that we hire a publicist to market our films to film festivals. </p>
<p>Another was to jump straight to distribution, leverage our team and fan base, and hire a publicist to work with us on self-distribution. </p>
<p>Another was to skip fests and go on the search for a sales agent who would be in charge of getting our film in front of distributors. This would cost $2500-5000 plus a 10% commission on every sale. </p>
<p>The final: go maverick and march off the beaten path. </p>
<p>So there you have it-- I didn't include a lot of info about the publicists and sales agents because I am still researching those. Mainly right now I think the question is whether or not to move forward with the festival path or not. </p>
<p>Which would you choose?</p>
<ol> <li>Follow your gut Jenni! </li> <li>Consult with the Film Festival Doctor </li> <li>Consult with the Film Festival Doctor-- I will pledge $ to help pay for it. (Will supply you with the amount in the comments or via email) </li> <li>I have another idea. I'll email you. </li> <li>Skip the fests! Go Maverick! </li> <li>Hire a publicist.</li>
</ol>
<p>Love to hear you opinion in the comments!</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117852019-09-17T14:25:00-05:002019-10-01T14:22:29-05:00A STUCK Song is Born: the final installmen<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/36ef4d0de07c726a7bf4c65ac85df96250240174/original/bw-cover-final-copy.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A STUCK Song is Born: the final installment </p>
<p>How many years ago did I start this series? One? Two? Two! It's been two years! Just in case you weren't here two years ago, I started writing a series that would follow the making of our original STUCK song, "Shade of Blue". Here are the links to the first 4 installments in case you need a little catch up: </p>
<p>https://www.patreon.com/posts/14108107 </p>
<p>https://www.patreon.com/posts/14108400 </p>
<p>https://www.patreon.com/posts/14108622 </p>
<p>https://www.patreon.com/posts/18430216 </p>
<p>So the final installment. Let's see. The last post was a year ago. What has happened in the last year? I laid down the vocal tracks really quick one day. Stephen locked them in and added some great guitar solos. Bruce Richardson contributed his expert opinion so we could get it closer to the genre and time period we were going for by changing the beat and adding some twangy guitars </p>
<p>In September of last year we transferred all of the music tracks over to Bruce so that he could "sexy things up". In March, I went in to Bruce's studio and laid down another set of vocals before I moved to Austin. We changed up a little bit of the wording on the final chorus so that it would have a stronger emotional impact. And I left it in his capable hands. </p>
<p>Then we got sidetracked with finishing the score and soundscape for the movie so that we could have it finished for the Premier at WTxFF. We got the song just where it needed to be to live in the background of the diner scenes and over the credits. Then after the Premier Bruce tidied it up so that it could stand on its own as a song. And voila! A STUCK song is born! </p>
<p>Oh! And something very cool came out of this: I am now registered as a singer/songwriter on BMI! It's like a dream come true that I didn't even know I had! </p>
<p>Thank you all for your support! As you can tell the creative process isn't always a quick one so your continued support makes a big impact and is much appreciated.</p>1:49Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117862019-09-13T14:25:00-05:002019-10-01T14:24:00-05:00Ep 9: Have I told you about the time I booked a little movie by Wes Anderson called Bottle Rocket? <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/254370c35752632a2276f1bfcc62362bd02c5171/original/have-i-told-you-about-the-time.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />For all you moviephiles out there here's the inside scoop...and you may be surprised! </p>
<p>This one is also about trusting that I will always be where I need to be--even when things are out of my control. And judging myself harshly about something that might have actually benefitted me.</p>16:11Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117872019-09-10T14:25:00-05:002019-10-01T14:26:04-05:00Jenni talks about STUCK with Selig Film News <p>Hi Everyone! </p>
<p>Media from WTxFF is seeping out one drop at a time! Here is the interview I did with Gadi Elkon of Selig Film News. </p>
<p>You'll have to clock through to FB for this one!</p>
<p>Spoiler Alert! We talk about what the movie is about, what influenced my choices in direction and art, and what's coming next. The inspirational "Laugh Loud Alot" moment comes at the end.</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117902019-09-08T14:30:00-05:002019-10-01T14:29:05-05:00Ep 8: Have I Told You About the Time I got to play a role I actually wrote?<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/254370c35752632a2276f1bfcc62362bd02c5171/original/have-i-told-you-about-the-time.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Hey everyone! </p>
<p>In this episode I am answering a question posed to me by one of my Patreon Patrons: Steven! </p>
<p>"How much of yourself, your own personality and character, is presented in Frannie?" Great question! Answered here! </p>
<p>I also talk about how my perceptions create my real world, what putting "myself" into roles when I was young cost me, and the technique I use today to create characters so that I can embody them authentically without putting myself into a dark place. </p>
<p>A nice combo of getting inside the actor's process and good old personal growth. </p>
<p>Unedited. Uncensored. Just Jenni. </p>
<p>Do you have questions or topics for the podcast? Email me or comment here!</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117892019-09-08T14:30:00-05:002019-10-01T14:27:38-05:00This week's mantra: The universe supports me and wants me to succeed <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/c0849e1be52e11f3466a45aab1859296f57ba677/original/the-universe-supports-me-and-wants-me-to-succeed.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Whenever I get frustrated with how things are going- or not going- my tendency is to work harder and try harder to figure everything out. This suggests a fundamental belief that it's just me doing the work and that the universe, god, whatever you want to call it isn't there to support me. </p>
<p>I've started asking myself: What if the universe is a supportive one and wants me to succeed? I immediately feel a sense of relief. I don't have to do it alone! I have to be careful how I define success though-- and sometimes when things aren't going "well" consider whether or not what looks negative may actually be for my greater good. </p>
<p>Happy week everyone!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59117932019-09-01T14:30:00-05:002019-10-01T14:30:30-05:00Mantra of the week: one small bold action <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/d35cf8ffa238ed4d752ad91a1449d07c0345cb4a/original/one-small-bold-action.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This is more of a goal than a mantra. This week I am committed to taking one small bold action each day that will lead towards the life I want to be living. I often get overwhelmed because my ideas are who big and my expectations are so high. It seems like the life I want to live, the things I want to do, the things I want to have are all so far away and there's no bridge to cross the gap. With one small action each day I am building that bridge-- and proving to myself that I am on my side and that these things can be achieved. The bold part makes me feel fun and powerful! </p>
<p>If you are making small bold steps I would love to hear about them in the comments!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59118572019-08-30T14:35:00-05:002019-10-01T14:33:26-05:00Ep 7: Have I told you about the time I was on the filmmaker's roundtable at WTxFF and John Wildman asked me how it was making the transition into being the salesperson for my film? <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/254370c35752632a2276f1bfcc62362bd02c5171/original/have-i-told-you-about-the-time.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Salesperson? Yes! That's me! Let me hustle up a little something here.... </p>
<p>To some extent every filmmaker is a salesperson for their film at some point. Coming from a background where salespeople were considered the root of all evil taking on this role has been particularly challenging and life affirming. </p>
<p>In this episode I talk about what happens after the movie is "done", where I am at with restrategizing the plan for STUCK, and how I am re-training my brain so that I don't set my success metrics so I high that I am a constant failure no matter what I do. </p>
<p>Unedited. Uncensored. Just Jenni. </p>
<p>There ain't no map folks!</p>21:35Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59118582019-08-28T14:35:00-05:002019-10-01T14:35:14-05:00This week's mantra: NAP <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/297c49c08d9ba83523da2c0d21e691b8743e9d52/original/non-action-plan.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week's mantra: non-action plan..aka NAP! </p>
<p>This is one of the hardest things for me to do-- not work, not strategize, not come up with more plans... just relax and let the universe take care of everything. </p>
<p>After such alot of busy-ness getting STUCK finished and premiered and trying to get this whole earned income/money stuff stabilized.. okay, my whole life stabilized... I think it may be time to take a little break. </p>
<p>I've dropped off how much energy I am putting into certain areas of life and for the next week there will be no STUCK stuff. None! My brain really wants to try to protect me and keep me out of fear by keeping me busy and working hard. </p>
<p>No brain! It's time for a NAP-- a non-action plan. Just get out of the way and let life happen. Who knows what may show up?</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59078302019-08-25T14:20:00-05:002019-10-01T14:18:57-05:00This week's mantra: Hmmmmm<p>From the Patreon Archives:</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/21976c074d128273512576e6923e285be2d8ad20/original/hmmmm.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<h2>This week's mantra: hmmmmm. </h2>
<p>I am slowly being taught how to rest into the unknown and stay in the hmmmmm. My brain really wants to keep me safe by knowing everything-- the only problem is that when out doesn't know something it starts making up all kinds of stories, gets really frustrated, and then starts telling me that there are no solutions and life is hopeless. No brain! No! I love you but no! </p>
<p>So today is all about staying in the hmmmmm. Which is very close to "ommmm" if you think about it. And om is the underlying sound of the universe....hmmm.</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59118592019-08-24T14:40:00-05:002019-10-01T14:36:57-05:00STUCK Private online screening and Q&A <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/7f6b2895aef7421fb9aac404a20b244180ef93e4/original/1.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The screening room is open! Watch anytime between now and 7pm CST on Monday! </p>
<p>Here's your link to view: (removed) </p>
<p> I will send out the info about how to connect to the Q&A later this weekend. </p>
<p>If you have a story that you would like to share about your exerpience with Alzheimer's or addiction or would like to comment on the film you can do so on my website: https://jennitooley.com/tell-us-your-story </p>
<p>Talk with you soon! Have a great weekend and enjoy the show!</p>
<p> </p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/58590852019-08-15T14:50:05-05:002019-08-15T14:51:57-05:00Tooley's Travels: Travel Day Optional...Yes Please! <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/938996c89629c2d6b5379e878231ec57ec978cd1/original/belmont-dallas-view.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>After 6 months of knowing the film was premiering in Dallas...I am finally in Dallas! We were given an optional travel day on each end of the fest. I said "yes yes yes!" I really hate being slammed for time and running from transportation into a dress and make-up and onto a red carpet or set (unless someone else is driving, dressing and making me up:). </p>
<p>I do admit, I almost waited until tomorrow to come though. It was really hard leaving these two little kittens. They have, in many ways saved my life over the last couple of months, and I have always suffered from separation anxiety when I leave places. As you can see Sunny was like "Wha?? Your wha???" and Toast was like "um, yoga please". Auntie M is coming over every day to play, feed and watch little British Mystery TV with them so I am sure that they will be just fine. It's just me that's got the weepies. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/245aea5b33327ad11a117569d39d170ba383845c/original/yoga-toast.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_right border_" /><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/726182a9d3c8148b1242d9be14dcf0433222ba57/original/sunny-upward-cat.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></p>
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<p>My trip to Dallas was super easy-- for those of you who know, I35 can be tricky and unpredictable, But everyone was totally chill on the road and there was no major slowdown. I stopped for gad in Hillsboro and had some trouble at the pump. We got it resolved and as I was standing there I realized that I was standing right next to the motel where Bottle Rocket was shot. I won't in any of the scenes they shot there but I thought it was kind of interesting:) </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/e0d41c0a7060ce6083a118b97f264dd794eed57e/original/bottle-rocket-hotel.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_right border_" /></p>
<p> I got to the Belmont Hotel in Oak Cliff and took that lovely pic of the view of downtown Dallas. My room definitely needs to be renovated- I had to do some seriously creative wiring and lighting and I am happy to have brought my own comforter. But that's just me-- I take home wherever I go. The hike back and forth between my car and the bungalow up the hill four times to get my stuff to the room in 100 degree heat was all the exercise I needed-- and a little sauna-style detox. Interestingly enough you can't drive up to what used to be the motor part of the motor hotel anymore, you know the little open air garage next to your room. You can't even drive onto the property. But that means it's pretty darn quiet here and that's just the way I like it. </p>
<p>I then chugged on over to the Spiral Diner where I had the Duderina Sandwich-- hello vegan chicken fried! Yum! And I got a cherry chocolate bomb cupcake to take home with me- also vegan. Can you say heaven? My cholesterol can. And I will admit that upon pulling up to the hotel I texted these words to Jenny M: "You can walk to Juiceland from the hotel. Squeee!!!!!" Being able to take care of myself in the way I like to- and need to- while traveling is such a delight. I can't always get what I want-- but right now I'm doing pretty darn well. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/a83939e5744b307aaeb086a81804a5202f553902/original/spiral-diner-sand.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsInNtYWxsIl1d.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" /></p>
<p>I was going to hop in the pool but my throat is starting to get that tight feeling so I better forgo that for now and just chill and go to sleep. My history is that when I get a little too visible I get sick-- that's been settling down over the last few years but there is so much bound up in this premier (like 20 years of personal, career, and creative stuff) that I need to be really aware of how I'm feeling and take super good care of myself. </p>
<p>So that's it for now! I'll try to do a daily update for you whenever possible:) </p>
<p>Much love- </p>
<p>Jenni </p>
<p>PS: please excuse all typos, punctation and grammar. It ain't gonna get better as I get busier and more tired so let's just let it go now:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/58590822019-08-15T14:45:22-05:002019-08-15T14:45:22-05:00Jenni's Journal-- a shortie <p> </p>
<p>Archived from July 10, 2019<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/47d044f8174aec2d9d730c632c5e9962585eb941/original/23698541-10156966436999968-1283154811-o.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Today I was given a gift- well let’s face it, I am given gifts every day it’s just that this one was clearly lit for me. A friend used the word “innovative” to describe what I am doing. Innovative is something I aspire to but I didn’t know I was hitting the mark— or even near the target. Which is funny because a year ago Quincy Preston, the editor of Dallas Innovates, found me on Patreon and contacted me for an interview. Um…duh may be a good word to use here. It’s amazing how I can overlook or under-interpret things that happen in my life to keep me in the small zone. To keep thinking of myself in a way that doesn’t serve me well. I need to start giving myself some credit. </p>
<p>So let’s celebrate— here’s the article! And we are coming up on the one year anniversary of Smart Cookies with Jenni Tooley— which I am going to rerun on FB and on Patreon! And STUCK is premiering in a few short weeks! Yay! </p>
<p>Thank you all for being such great supporters! It means so much to me that you are along for the ride! Your financial contribution is also measurable in the practical application of my life and is truly appreciated:)</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/58590812019-08-15T14:43:34-05:002019-08-15T14:43:34-05:00Mantra for the week...<p>Archived post from July 31, 2019<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/35f57d42aaddf434a9d840e91c534a847a2f6a24/original/love-yourself-first.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>When it gets busy I need to... </p>
<p>Mantra for the week: Love Yourself First. </p>
<p>What??? That's blasphemy! I'm supposed to take care of everyone else first and then when there's time (which there never is;) take care of me. Well, it turns out that that approach didn't work at all! When I took care of everyone else first I was always drained and grumpy and I ended up with resentments against those I cared for. </p>
<p>It's been a serious practice to get into the habit of loving me first and to retrain my brain but it's gotten easier to take care of me and love me first. That way I have a lot more to give to everyone else! I feel a whole lot better! And I'm alot less likely to go to all the wrong places, people and things looking to fill that hole I had in me!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/58590802019-08-15T14:41:36-05:002019-08-15T14:41:36-05:00Ramping up for the STUCK Premier at WTxFF <p>From Patreon Post on Aug 13, 2019:<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/0789227252ac7729b909ae9056aa80b8d4918eac/original/2019-banner-7.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I head out tomorrow! </p>
<p>Kitty caregiver- check! (Thank you Auntie M!!!) </p>
<p>Posters- check! EPK- check! DCP- check! Press lists- check! </p>
<p>New outfits that actually fit my new Austin body- check! Haircut- check! Eyebrows- check! </p>
<p>Invitations sent- check! After-party arranged- check! Tech check requested- check! </p>
<p>Brain in my head...hmmmm. Yes. I believe it's there:) </p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your support! As we make our way toward the screening, I have had to deal with some overwhelm. Not only are we premiering but I want to be able to use this event and the events surrounding it to gather more followers and patrons so I have been working on putting together something new as well as keeping up with the STUCK basics. </p>
<p>To deal with this overwhelm I clarified and simplified my purpose/goals. </p>
<p>Primary purpose: Celebrate! </p>
<p>Secondary purpose: Finish out my obligations to backers/team. </p>
<p>Let god and WTxFF take care of: broadening our audience. I just need to show up. </p>
<p>The by-product: an increase in patronage. </p>
<p>The increase in patronage was stressing me out--I'm still rebuilding my financial life so this goal was front and center. For my sanity I had to adjust it to being a by-product and trust that if I keep doing what I am doing what I need will show up. We'll see where I am at on that after the fest;) </p>
<p> I have attached the program for WTxFF for those of you who can't attend or are living vicariously:) </p>
<p>I will not be attending everything- the compulsion is there. But self care for this introvert requires downtime in my room or in the pool. So here is what I plan to do. </p>
<p>Wed: arrive in Dallas </p>
<p>Thursday: admin/social media/finish the blogs due for my other job/Red Carpet/Maybe the opening night movie/a little time at the opening night party. </p>
<p>Friday: admin/any pop-up interviews/rest because I won't have my two days off this week/greet Jenny Maguire! </p>
<p>Saturday: Sit on the Fundraising panel/press junket/Red Carpet </p>
<p>Sunday: Awards Brunch/Maybe Roundtable/Screening/After Party/Maybe the Closing night party. </p>
<p>Monday: Go home/ kiss kitties/get ready for the work week:) </p>
<p>And somewhere in there is a trip to the Spiral Diner to eat vegan chicken fried steak sandwiches and chocolate shakes! </p>
<p>More to come....</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/58590782019-08-15T14:37:51-05:002019-08-15T14:38:47-05:00Jenni's Journal: I am my own rockstar <p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/3d96cabf22c4a0059b336175e4237f20e7240e46/original/i-am-my-own-rockstar.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>From my Patreon post on June 23, 2019:</p>
<p>It turns out I've always wanted to be a rockstar. If you know me and my background you will see this reflected in who I have chosen as romantic partners in my life-- not in what I have chosen to do with my own. </p>
<p>As you may know at this point in my life I am usually only a degree or two (if that) away from some known actor or director or even musician so it isn’t unusual for me to see a pic of a friend standing next to…let’s say…some very hot, very talented guy. I am finding it interesting that now that I am single again--and have been for a good number of months I am seeing those pictures and thinking…hmmmm…"I wonder if I could get introduced to him?" Or I see an aforementioned type of dude and think "I wonder if I know anybody who knows that guy?" This is becoming an interesting pattern to note- and I may share a funny story about this soon. </p>
<p>Let's look at two other things first though. </p>
<p>A couple of years ago the delightful Adrian told me he had been looking through his wife’s photos from two decades ago— many of which featured me with now powerful men. He noted this and then said - "of course, because you are a powerful woman". Hmmmm…thank you Adrian. </p>
<p>Another puzzle pice hit me recently as well. I thought that in order to produce STUCK I would need someone else to raise the money and produce it and and and…and it would be a guy. I fully expected that there would be some man standing next to me at the fests and screenings. Guess what? There’s not. </p>
<p>So here’s where I am going with this— I keep divesting my energy in genius, hot, talented guys. It finally occurred to me that I didn’t need to be the chick standing next to that guy in the picture- I am the very hot, talented genius woman that he is standing by. Huh. </p>
<p>Now that I have the awareness the trick is to consistently work at re-routing that old neural pathway into this new one. I know I can do it— with alot of practice, patience and support from my friends:) </p>
<p>I don't need to attach myself to a rockstar. I am my own rockstar!</p>Jenni Tooleytag:jennitooley.com,2005:Post/59118742019-01-26T14:50:00-06:002019-10-01T14:46:30-05:00Free Tickets to Dallas Video Festival!<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176791/e75a9bc9767b6c902c60f96ce20652a8961460fd/original/stuck-poster-update-2.jpg/!!/undefined/b:W1sic2l6ZSIsIm1lZGl1bSJdXQ==.jpg" class="size_m justify_center border_" />My patrons have first access to free tickets! </p>
<p>STUCK is screening as a work-in-progress at Dallas Video Festival: 10pm on Saturday Feb. 9 at the Angelika Film Center(Mockingbird Station/Dallas). </p>
<p>I have a limited number of comp tickets and am sharing them with you first! If you would like a pair of tickets to the screening let me know by Monday, January 28 and I will save them for you:) </p>
<p>I have also negotiated a special ticket price for STUCK supporters! If you want to purchase tickets you can click the link above. Use promo code StuckDVF to get tickets for $8.</p>Jenni Tooley