Tomorrow I have an audition for a very popular franchise TV show-- it's one I would actually watch if I hadn't kicked the violent shows off of my list. The role is a co-starring role. Those come around every so often for me. I haven't booked one yet, but it's nice to be asked to audition. Or at least that's where I try to keep my gratitude at instead of "why don't I ever get booked????".
This show is very secretive and sends out sides (scene selections) that are not actually from the show so it's always interesting to try and put that together. The role is described as a woman whose tough exterior masks her passion. She surprises herself with what she is capable of. The second part is easy for me to connect to but the first part is more difficult. When an audition notice says "tough exterior" they usually mean someone who looks tough or rugged. Over the years I have had to accept that I am not either of those things when Hollywood comes calling. But they did come calling so they must be interested. What does that mean? Well, I finally figured out that when I don't exactly fit a description, rather than try to make myself what I think they want, I need to "Tooley it up" instead.
Tooley it up? That phrase came from my friend Sharon who has taped and coached numerous auditions. She says I have a special quality-- I have a read that's a little different than most people's reads. I think in her context it has to do with how subtle I play things. In this context, though, it describes where I as Jenni Tooley can take something. So if I can't go tough exterior I can go tough interior with a soft and "lotta bit off" exterior. I'm still working it out. The other part of what I have learned is that I cannot be something I am not. So whatever I am tomorrow is what I show up with and I have to trust that. If I'm bloated, I'm bloated. If my energy is strung out, it's strung out. If I'm busting lines, I'm busting lines. It's all good. And it is just as it should be.
More to come!